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Newest Member: pea2 (46023)

User Topic: sociopath
boots5050
♂ 39542
Member # 39542
Stop  Posted: 6:02 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sociopath

Houghton Mifflin

n.noun
1.
One who is affected with a personality disorder marked by antisocial behavior.


This is who I am, unable to express emotions as they happen, don't get me wrong, I feel emotions,
I have this innate ability to block them out.
Cheated on my wife twice, left twice
My main goal posting this is to find similar people who experience the same type of affliction
that infects me, this is my start, details will follow.
If this affliction seems familiar to you, reach out to me


Posts: 32 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: usa
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been disconnected from my emotions for most of my life. Not because I am a sociopath, but because of what I had to endure as a child. I learned to keep things to myself. It was safer that way. It was a coping skill that served me well as a child, not so well as an adult. Knowing how to do this is often learned, not necessarily a sociopathic behavior.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5228 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
heartbroken0903
♀ 27879
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds familiar to me. More to follow later...I'm at work.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

We remarried in 2014.


Posts: 2367 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
boots5050
♂ 39542
Member # 39542
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what does that mean to you and how have you dealt
with this??

Posts: 32 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: usa
Actionsoverwords
♂ 41949
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you been diagnosed by a professional or are you self-diagnosing?


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 309 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
pastbroken521
♀ 43277
Member # 43277
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have carried things through out my adult life that has happened to me when I was a child and it has defined my as a person because I let it. I am defined as what happened to me. I also stuff my emotions down deep inside and I come off soulless and hard. I have emotions just have a hard time showing them properly.


In need of healing for my husband and I

Posts: 12 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: nw ohio
20WrongsVs1
♀ 39000
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of my first posts on SI, had pretty much the same title.

I have two bits of good news for you.

1) There's a one-question test for sociopaths: "Do you think you might be a sociopath?" If you say yes, you're definitely not. So congratulations, you're not.

2) The affliction you're describing is curable. Ask my kids.


fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
heartbroken0903
♀ 27879
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The way in which I relate: I have done things and hurt people, most notably in having the affair, without any consideration for anyone else's feelings but my own. I've spent most of my life unable to make close friends because of my difficulty in interacting on an emotionally intimate level within a platonic setting. I have had trouble respecting authority, particularly that of my parents (growing up) and to a lesser extent, my employers.

Those are some examples. I have not been diagnosed as such although my IC did wonder about possible BPD.

As for how I deal with it: I focus every day on becoming a good person and doing the right thing. At first it was simply modification of the behavior, with every impulse in me being to return to what was comfortable. As time has gone on, making good decisions and having good thoughts has come more naturally.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

We remarried in 2014.


Posts: 2367 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
boots5050
♂ 39542
Member # 39542
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was bought up to me by my wife, looked up the definition and it stuck like glue. Every thing
I read about this type of behavior indicates it is difficult to treat, then I go back to am I a true sociopath, no I don't
I have tendencies and difficulties that I had trouble zeroing in on, always blaming my past as well as others for my behavior.
Several responses indicate that people travel backward blaming the past, this has been my crutch
for many years.
Childhood was difficult, at times extreme yet I cannot fathom why I stay stuck in those patterns

Posts: 32 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: usa
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you ever done anything to really deal with your past? IC?


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5228 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
LosferWords
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 12:40 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Childhood was difficult, at times extreme yet I cannot fathom why I stay stuck in those patterns

I think for a lot of us, those patterns are what is familiar, and we tend to gravitate towards what is familiar, healthy or otherwise. One member pointed out to me a couple of years back that the words "family" and "familiar" are very tightly intertwined.

There are some who are able to break out of those patterns, and some of us who choose not to. I use the word "choose", even though it can be an implicit choice to continue with what has been presented to us in life from a young age. Poor choices through complacency of unhealthy familiar behavior, if you will. It takes a conscious and concerted effort to break out of it, in a lot of cases, I think.

Have you ever done anything to really deal with your past? IC?

I think what TG asked here is a great question. If you aren't seeing a counselor or therapist, what are you doing to break out of these patterns?

Best of luck to you. Keep posting!


Posts: 8232 | Registered: Dec 2010
boots5050
♂ 39542
Member # 39542
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes, and finally after all these years I am starting to understand that it is possible to
change, never before have I believed that I could
change, staying mired in the same patterns, thoughts and behavior, breaking down my thought
patterns, realizing little things, like being
pleasant towards people, the responses from others has been short of amazing, friendly and receptive,

Posts: 32 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: usa
boots5050
♂ 39542
Member # 39542
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was in therapy, cheated on my wife for the second time and now we are apart
One thing I am starting to do is to stick with
this website, there seems to be more insight and help here than my therapist who was timid in challenging me

Posts: 32 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: usa
Topic Posts: 13

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