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Affair free for 7 years and happy for it!

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stupidgurl posted 5/27/2014 21:08 PM

7 years affair free!

I love my H more than anything, I may bitch about him but he ain't that bad , in fact he is better than ever these days. I am not ever tempted, vulnerable, or capable of cheating anymore. I made up my mind to be faithful, I keep that promise every day and I am proud of that.

I just want to shout out to all the rest of you who have kept up the promise you made after D-day to never hurt the person you love again, and applaud you for the good you do everyday, it is hard to get back into a bad marriage and turn it around, staying takes a lot of courage, and staying faithful takes a lotta love for the person you may have thought you no longer loved, but probably really just grew apart from.

Some of you struggle, you maybe are new and in the fog, but face reality, you cannot have both. You can have your spouse who will be true to you if you just get your shit together and own up to what you've done, or you can have your AP and let your BS go to live a stress free life without you. Stop stringing your BS along, they deserve to be happy, and that happiness either is you recommitting or getting the eff out of their lives. I am betting your BS will still love you unless they say otherwise, and the AP is probably scummier than anything you can scrape off the bottom of a filthy toilet. I recommend pulling your heads out of your asses and keeping your family together folks because, kids need an intact home more than anything.

Please FWS's feel free to boast and post your achievements, we get to hear the slip ups everyday, but I want to hear from those of you who have been true to your spouse since D-day, give advice on how you've kept faithful, and what you want to tell all the newbies.

Deeply Scared posted 5/27/2014 22:35 PM

Great post!! Thank you so much for sharing your journey and experience...really great job!

BrighterFuture posted 5/27/2014 23:47 PM

I've never posted on this forum before, matter of fact I rarely read the posts in this forum but your post caught my eye. I'm proud of WS like you. You've done the work my ex never did. You recommitted to your spouse knowing it would be hard and that takes real courage. Continue being strong. I wish you more infidelity free years.

stupidgurl posted 5/28/2014 01:09 AM

Thanks BrighterFuture, I am glad to have caught your attention.

It is hard to know if your WS is going to keep fighting for the marriage, and do the right thing, and we all have heard the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" but I hope the knowledge that some WS's do change is a comfort to some BS's out there.

As for me I intend to continue to remain faithful for all the years I get to share with my H!

[This message edited by stupidgurl at 1:09 AM, May 28th (Wednesday)]

BrokenButTrying posted 5/28/2014 02:02 AM

That's amazing SG! Thanks for sharing.

helpemegetoverit posted 5/28/2014 05:33 AM

Great post! This holiday weekend marked the end of PA for me, marking 3 years. While I can honestly say I will never do that to anyone ever again, myself included, these posts are great for new waywards and others to see and I know I have to keep working on myself but it really feels good to be free of that life and be able to show friends and family how I have changed every day. Doing the work to feel happy and healthy is so rewarding. Thanks for posting!

[This message edited by helpemegetoverit at 5:37 AM, May 28th (Wednesday)]

SurprisinglyOkay posted 5/28/2014 05:47 AM

D1rtyCh34t3r posted 5/28/2014 10:17 AM

Just a bit over six years affair-free myself. We still have issues to work out (posted a blog update and thread a few minutes ago), but am fully committed to my beautiful wife.

For the FWS who are still reeling, the best thing you can do is come absolutely clean as soon as possible. Healing can't start until then.

sunnyrain posted 5/28/2014 10:26 AM

Looking forward to the day when I can post similar words!

Major congrats!

4everfaithful83 posted 5/28/2014 19:22 PM

BGF here - Just wanted to say how much I respect the words you've written. It's really refreshing to see Wayward's come forward and admit their faults and see all the effort they make to help heal the damage they have caused, and to heal themselves. Congratulations to you and your H on your journey. I wish you the best in the future!!!

ThatGuyNoMore posted 5/28/2014 21:13 PM

Congratulations stupidgurl!

I'm a newbie here and it's comforting to hear tales of success once in a while. My BS focuses on the hundreds of horror stories of false R, the backsliding, the failures, the daily dose of "once a cheater, always a cheater" and "RUN from that guy, NOW!" I may have been that selfish guy who lied and betrayed, but I will not be that guy anymore. I will be a success story like you, whether my poor BS decides to S/D or stick around a while and see me become the man I should have been.

Thanks for the inspiration and the hope. I really needed it today.

[This message edited by ThatGuyNoMore at 9:14 PM, May 28th (Wednesday)]

familyfirst posted 5/29/2014 13:34 PM

it is hard to get back into a bad marriage and turn it around, staying takes a lot of courage, and staying faithful takes a lotta love for the person you may have thought you no longer loved, but probably really just grew apart from

Thank you so much for saying this. It feels like a relief to have someone else acknowledge that.

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