I love my H more than anything, I may bitch about him but he ain't that bad , in fact he is better than ever these days. I am not ever tempted, vulnerable, or capable of cheating anymore. I made up my mind to be faithful, I keep that promise every day and I am proud of that.
I just want to shout out to all the rest of you who have kept up the promise you made after D-day to never hurt the person you love again, and applaud you for the good you do everyday, it is hard to get back into a bad marriage and turn it around, staying takes a lot of courage, and staying faithful takes a lotta love for the person you may have thought you no longer loved, but probably really just grew apart from.
Some of you struggle, you maybe are new and in the fog, but face reality, you cannot have both. You can have your spouse who will be true to you if you just get your shit together and own up to what you've done, or you can have your AP and let your BS go to live a stress free life without you. Stop stringing your BS along, they deserve to be happy, and that happiness either is you recommitting or getting the eff out of their lives. I am betting your BS will still love you unless they say otherwise, and the AP is probably scummier than anything you can scrape off the bottom of a filthy toilet. I recommend pulling your heads out of your asses and keeping your family together folks because, kids need an intact home more than anything.
Please FWS's feel free to boast and post your achievements, we get to hear the slip ups everyday, but I want to hear from those of you who have been true to your spouse since D-day, give advice on how you've kept faithful, and what you want to tell all the newbies.
2002/3 (him) EA
PA(me)-Nov 2007
Tog. 16 yrs, Marr. 15 and counting!
Still R'd
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.
It is hard to know if your WS is going to keep fighting for the marriage, and do the right thing, and we all have heard the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" but I hope the knowledge that some WS's do change is a comfort to some BS's out there.
As for me I intend to continue to remain faithful for all the years I get to share with my H!
[This message edited by stupidgurl at 1:09 AM, May 28th (Wednesday)]
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.
[This message edited by helpemegetoverit at 5:37 AM, May 28th (Wednesday)]
"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you." John Green
"Your secrets keep you sick"
For the FWS who are still reeling, the best thing you can do is come absolutely clean as soon as possible. Healing can't start until then.
Major congrats!
ME: 33 WBF: 30 Together 10 years 1 doggie, 1 Cat DDay: June 24, 2013 IN R...Working at it every day.
I'm a newbie here and it's comforting to hear tales of success once in a while. My BS focuses on the hundreds of horror stories of false R, the backsliding, the failures, the daily dose of "once a cheater, always a cheater" and "RUN from that guy, NOW!" I may have been that selfish guy who lied and betrayed, but I will not be that guy anymore. I will be a success story like you, whether my poor BS decides to S/D or stick around a while and see me become the man I should have been.
Thanks for the inspiration and the hope. I really needed it today.
[This message edited by ThatGuyNoMore at 9:14 PM, May 28th (Wednesday)]
it is hard to get back into a bad marriage and turn it around, staying takes a lot of courage, and staying faithful takes a lotta love for the person you may have thought you no longer loved, but probably really just grew apart from
Thank you so much for saying this. It feels like a relief to have someone else acknowledge that.
