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Std Testing Done. Humiliating Process...

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DyingInside21 posted 5/27/2014 21:17 PM

Finally got to see my doctor last Friday for my yearly check up and had the humiliating task of letting her know why I was asking for a full STD testing work up.

In my almost 40 years on this planet I have only had to have a full STD tests run twice. Once after my rape when I was in college and now, after my WH destroyed our marriage vows.

After letting me vent to her a bit she let me know that if I haven't had any issues so far, that the common ones were probably not an issue, but to be safe she ran them again. She is running blood work for the others not routinely tested for (HIV, etc..) and for HPV, which I have never routinely been tested for.
Only thing is, if I test positive for HPV there is no way to prove that he gave it to me because she said it can lay dormant for years.
One detail I needed her to confirm was the timeline of a horrible bacterial infection I had a couple of years ago. She couldn't figure it out nor could I. I wasn't testing positive for a typical yeast infection and I had never had one before. Her date in my records indicate that I got this infection within the first two months after EA turned P.

She said it is very likely that he got it from OW and shared it with me, although it's not technically an STD and I also could not prove it. Im not a big fan of coincidence. That infection was a direct reaction to his being with The Whore two months prior.
She said even if he really did use a condom every time it is possible to spread HPV and any bacterial infection with me. She said I was more susceptible simply because any new partner introduced after a long period of time with just one partner makes me more susceptible. FUCK!!!!!!

I WANNA SCREAM. I am so mad. I knew this was coming. Im just newly humiliated and mortified.
I remember it was one of the few times I asked him if he was having an A, especially since my doctor couldn't figure out what was causing my symptoms and why OTC treatment wasn't working. And he had just started the PA at that time. Makes me wonder if he only started using a condom after that incident.

Now I wait for results and go from there. This is so humiliating. Just the process of going to the lab with the reasons for my tests while my marital status states: "Married". So not okay and so not fair!!!!
Just venting, really. I have no one else to talk to about this particular detail. I haven't told anyone yet. Just waiting for results... those results will determine how I proceed.

mchercheur posted 5/27/2014 21:20 PM


Just know that gyn professionals see this scenario many times per day & do not judge.

What your WH did was such a violation to you, akin to physical abuse.

Sending you strength

standinghere posted 5/27/2014 21:27 PM

I wasn't humiliated, but in my case I had to go to the lab where all my patients go...where I am well did my wife.

I'd love to have been a fly on the wall after that visit.

However, just FYI, we do see this all the time, it becomes rather mundane and in our workdays you are just another face in the crowd who will not be remembered 5 minutes after you left the lab.

Scubadoo posted 5/27/2014 21:28 PM

Been there, and your right it is extremely humiliating. Just thinking about being judged.
Then the phlebotomist after drawing my blood shouts out, oh wow I didn't see the dr added an HIV test. You have to sign this waiver. Great, thanks. I don't think the people standing at checkout missed a word.
My thoughts are with you. Hoping for the best.

DyingInside21 posted 5/27/2014 21:42 PM

Thanks everyone!! I know intellectually that I am one of many in the eyes of the lab and my doctor. It just brought it all up again. This doctor visit came on the heels of finding out how many "dates" he has had with her as I went through all of his bank statements from the secret account he opened and has just added me to.
Having little ones at home makes it hard to just release the anguish whenever I want. I have to stifle a lot and then release when I can.

Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst. (((TO ALL OF YOU)))

burnedcanuckEMS posted 5/27/2014 22:25 PM

Been there, done that. I was crying so hard when I asked to be tested after my dday that my doctor I have had for ten years had his wife do the swabs on me. She is also a doctor but only works casually - he actually called her in for me, I thought that was so considerate and kind of them. Thank god that round of tests came out clean.

Second walk of shame was when I discovered my rebound boyfriend was secretly married to a woman overseas. Yup, went from BW to OW just like that. Anyways I also had recurrent BV infection and had never had that until I was with this player. Thank god the STD tests also came back clean but I sure shit bricks until I got the results back. Now I have been a year celibate, and my annual pap is coming up, I will be glad I don't have to ask for STD tests this time LOL!

Now my friends and I laugh at the absurdity of it all and they call me the STD test queen! LOL! Honestly though, there is no shame in it, you are taking control of your health by being tested and the health care people run these tests every day and see much worse situations than ours. Really its no big deal!

I am sending positive thoughts and wishes your tests come back clean!

tushnurse posted 5/28/2014 16:19 PM

Do NOT be ashamed, do not be humiliated.

This is NOT your doing, and not your guilt to bear. I would make damn sure that your H has his junk tested, and go with him, and offer to be the swabee when the specimens are obtained.

These idiotic Waywards believe because their AP has rainbow colored shit that their magic Vajayjays, and Wankers are full of perfection, and white light. I can tell you I was full throttle pissed when he admitted they "didn't always use protection." I almost, made him leave then I was so mad. As a healthcare professional that saw the epidemic of Chlamydia and Condaloma in college I was forever on my soapbox about protection.

Anyway. I hope your results are all good. You should be proud of taking your heal into your own hands.

(((and strength)))

DyingInside21 posted 5/28/2014 17:40 PM


Got the call from my doctors office and everything came back negative!!! HIV results couldn't be given over the phone, but she said, "You don't have to rush in for the results, *wink, *wink".

I was so relieved, I cried. And then I got mad and then I cried angry tears again.
Just so upset that he would risk my health that way and then put me through the torture of getting tested AGAIN!
I feel so violated AGAIN.

When you are in a long term relationship or are married, you don't ever expect to have to do this. It's one of the perks, right?

Trying to compose myself now so that I can lay into him one more time. I may write him a letter first so that I don't cry or yell. Still deciding.

Thanks for all of the kind, supportive words. (((HUGS)))

12yearsloyal posted 5/28/2014 21:42 PM

I just got this testing done myself last week. And yes it was humiliating. I told the young doc that my H had an A. I have not gotten my results back yet but will call them tomorrow. I am not worried because WH got tested a few weeks ago and came back negative. Still we should not have to go thru this due to selfish pigs that we have married and ARE loyal to. I still get flashes in my mind of him laying with the ugly whore. His ugly island girl, only a blind man would think she was attractive and that is no joke.

confused615 posted 5/29/2014 05:20 AM

Has your WH been tested yet? Have you seen the results?

absolut posted 5/29/2014 05:46 AM

I am happy for you.

mchercheur posted 5/29/2014 06:15 AM

Yep, WH never even thought about STDs, because "OW is such a NICE girl."

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