SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Mom4ever posted 5/28/2014 06:35 AM

I am pretty discouraged. Almost a year out from DDay and filing for D. We've had about 5 or so court dates involving different aspects of this. Now ordered to mediation which I had already offered to do. STBXWH has now apparently fired his lawyer and hired another one. That one filed a motion immediately and we have a hearing next week on that. He's trying to block me from an activity this summer with the kids. Control issues much?? Anyway, if we can't come to an agreement during mediation, we have "another" final court date in late fall.

But now the new attorney has sent me a long list of interrogatories and request for production. This has not been brought up or done by either of us for a year. But now we get to do this when we are going to try and mediate. Stupid things on it like list every person with whom you have interacted with more than a standard greeting and handshake... Every trip you have been on with or without your spouse and the purpose and everyone on it... List every date you have been on... It goes on and on. News flash for him, I'm not dating. I'm still married!

I would like any tips, suggestions, or anything anybody has to offer about this. I have an appointment with my attorney because I think we should send interrogatories and request for production to him too. Why should I have all the fun?

kg201 posted 5/28/2014 07:43 AM

I am not a lawyer, but those types of questions seem irrelevant, and I am wondering whether there are limitations on the number or type of interrogatories that can be asked. This document (and it's from CA) seems to indicate that only 35 interrogatories can be asked in their jurisdiction.

http://www.nfsesq.com/resources/ccp-discovery/ccp-interrogatories/#2030.030

You might want to go back to the ones you already answered last year, and maybe you have already reached the limit in the case even if there is a new lawyer. I am also wondering whether those particular questions could be seen as harassing, and irrelevant to the case, and your lawyer could have the court issue an order (and possibly fine for their harassing nature) which allows you not to answer them.

Just some initial thoughts.

Chrysalis123 posted 5/28/2014 07:51 AM

I have an appointment with my attorney because I think we should send interrogatories and request for production to him too. Why should I have all the fun?

This was my thought as well....but I am not a lawyer. I wonder how much in legal fees that will cost you and if it is worth it?

Mom4ever posted 5/28/2014 08:29 AM

That's a great point. I will get a price for me issuing theses. I think maybe his new lawyer needs some billable hours... This just feels like we are taking steps backwards instead of moving towards a resolution. We are in a no fault state. Even though I haven't agreed with it the whole time, supposedly it doesn't matter that he slept around and had another life. If it's just a math equation, why can't we just plug on the numbers?

It does feel harassing and argumentative. Oh, I forgot the one asking for me to list each time I have been physically abusive toward him. I have had an order of protection against him for almost a year now and I have pictures of me and my hospital records to back it up.

But if anyone has any suggestions on where I could find a list of interrogatory questions for infidelity and such, that would be great.

kg201 posted 5/28/2014 08:30 AM

I found this.
http://wps.prenhall.com/wps/media/objects/6950/7117692/volume_medialib/Resources/SampleInterrogatories.doc

littlefoggy posted 5/28/2014 09:14 AM

Yeah. Most of mine were responded with "Objection this is harassing lawyer speak lawyer speak lawyer speak"

Mom4ever posted 5/28/2014 13:08 PM

Thanks for the links, kg201. I will definitely check them out. And I think you are all putting me on the right track. I can see me objecting to each of them before I answer. Thanks for listening. I'm just giving him head space. He is high conflict and this will probably go on for nine and a half more years... My only options are to give up or fight. I can't give up because I have children to take care of. I'm just down right now. I know it will pass. I hate this roller coaster!

whyohwhyohwhy posted 5/28/2014 19:49 PM

My x's lawyer sent me a 70 page interrogatory. My lawyer said he'd never seen anything like it. And I am by no means rich.....

I was supposed to list my boats, antiques, foreign stocks, precious metals, jewelry, beach houses, art collection, limited partnerships, etc..... it was ludicrous.

I just wrote N/A on most of the questions.

kg201 posted 5/28/2014 19:54 PM

I asked my lawyer about this today. She said that writing "objection" with a legal reason (irrelevant, harassing, nude burden) is a legit way to respond. Check with your lawyer. She also confirmed that there is a set number that can be asked in a case, although an allowance for more can be requested from the court. In my state, MA, it is 30 interrogatories, and that is 30 total whether with one or between two lawyers.

courageous posted 5/28/2014 19:55 PM

Controlling much? Sounds like the new lawyer wants to look like he has power.

There is a limit of questions they can ask you. You can reply that the question is not relevant and is harassment.

Or you could always answer like my exwh did:

The respondent rejections this question because it requests information that is attorney-client privileged.

All I asked was what the names of the people were that he has slept with other than me since we have been married.

Expect that liars lie.

Mom4ever posted 5/28/2014 21:11 PM

Thanks so much for the info. It helps to hear from others that have been down this path. I feel better now. I meet with my lawyer next week. And thanks, kg201, for asking your lawyer. I know how to approach this with my lawyer now.