I'm new to this forum, having previously been on the reconciliation group. Lately I have been considering moving out. We have been caregivers for four years in my husband's mother's home, and I discovered his ea a year ago. He had been having that other relationship even as he was convincing me to live with his mother to take care of her. The ea ended a year into our situation here but I only discovered it last year. That, plus his raging, blaming, and other hurtful behaviour have led me to consider separation.
However, of course financially it is not that easy, and logistically it is difficult too. Looking for a place is harder than I thought, and I'm not even sure it's what I want to do. We do live in a separated way at the house, and I think my husband needs space as well. I'm actually wondering if he is partly just feeling relieved I'm giving up on the marriage, as awful as that sounds, because now he doesn't have to deal with it/me anymore.
This morning we had a stressful exchange. When I met him downstairs he was focusing on some special thing he could buy his mother, and I told him I felt upset because here our marriage was dying and he was just focused on doing something for her. He asked me if the marriage was dying "this morning" as a joke, because he didn't have time to talk to me - which didn't impress me at all. I told him to be helpful or not bother, so he left without saying anything and went off to work.
That left me in crisis - tearful, and feeling very alone. I'm tired of burdening friends with all of this, tired of it myself. I do see a counselor but I could just really use some words of support or advice.