I do disagree myself with the
You are only seeking to "rug-sweep".
but again do agree with the relationship not heading to R. Which yes of course disappoints me. But it doesn't mean I'm going to give up on my healing.
I never asked for a script, I asked for support, as we haven't really talked face to face. And of course I'm scared and worried about what to say, as I do not want to make the situation any more worse than it already has become.
I never said I have made a lasting change, I said I have made some changes, yes there only small in the fact of realization about myself and my past and the fact that I know its something that it's going to take time its not going to be a quick fix. If you looked at my last post before this you would see that. I don't want to be that "OLD" person as I know those issues are things that will affect me for the rest of my life unless i start making these changes now.
In the end Broken she didn't want to meet up due to the fact I am unable to draw half the money out. I explained to her, that due to it being half term and that i haven't been able to work I work for an agency, so no work no money and with bills coming out and lack of funds at the moment its a safety net, I don't intend to use it or go into it. Its merely so I don't get into debt. She was frustrated and angry which i completely understood and acted calm and considerate explaining the reason and that it wasn't out of selfishness or to be awkward, but when done through messages it never comes across as you want it to.
Absolut I never did contact her, she had contacted myself in regards about the money situation. After she had made contact i replied and mentioned about the item so she was aware. I will admit when she messages I will send a reply and leave it at that.
I was always under the impression that she will have the money back when i have it fully, which was what we agreed on, and that a family member would drop it off.
In relation to the ADHD it affects everyone differently so certain issues for myself might not even apply to you, that is just a realization I know as well as family members confirming this. I am saving it up, but as mentioned earlier in regards too money, I am unable to give her it just yet, as i don't have the full amount. Which I had tried to explain. I am not looking for a reason to be in touch with her, as yes of course I would want to R with her, but I know that it's never going to happen.
The reasons for seeing a therapist, is due to the fact it can jeopardize my future career, and thanks to a personal message from Breaking, there is another way i can IC. I never once said, that i can look on the internet, read and be all better.
Of course I am aware she has the right to terminate, When she asks me to not contact I have accepted that and left her alone, but after a couple of days she will contact me again, and ignoring her only makes the situation worse. So when she asks for the NC i have been giving her that, but she breaks it by contacting myself.
I will be paying her back, i agreed and said that I would when I have the full money, and that a family member will drop it off to herself, as she still has items of my own. Which is what we agreed upon at the beginging
I'm aware that the relationship is over and yes the whole BGF referal will come acorss as strange, even though she is my ex, I had betrayed my girlfriend. So ill refer to her as my Ex, so that people do not get the wrong idea. I understand yes I am young, but that dosn't deny me the right to be able to change, which is the main reason I am on here and to help with healing. When I first posted i stated about my age and the situation and there have been many people who have said this forum can be for someone like me. So yes you might not see it, but it dosn't deny me the right to ask for help.