My 21 year anniversary is fast approaching it and I too am dreading it.
I already celebrated one anniversary after dday. It was uncomfortable. I felt as if I were putting on a happy act.
I did enjoy the evening, though.
So, maybe go on this one, and then you can have a new wedding and a new anniversary in the future.
What I did was I just pretended it was a nice dinner out.
He gave me a card with all sorts of lovey dovey bull hockey about me being special and such.
I gave him a card with a funny sentiment about how long term marriages are a lot of work.
In truth I feel like I'm only celebrating the anniversary of our "big day" to make him happy.
Then why not essentially ignore it? He needs to win you back; you don't need to court him. More important, it's important - critical, really - to be honest in your M. You need to tell him you're angry, hurt, disappointed, whatever.
Can you tell him to step up, find out what you want, and set it up. If not, what will it take?
I know this is tough work, but you can do it.
That day is dead, dead, dead.
Right on! It sure is. Like Seethelight and Sisoon suggested I would love to eventually have a new anniversary date.
We actually were in the middle of making plans for a ceremony about 18 months ago when I discovered a message on FB from one of the OW just popping in to say hello, to which he responded and went back and forth a few times catching up with the whore (not calling names, he actually paid her for sex…)
Since then it is crystal clear that he is to have absolutely no contact with any of the OW and if they try to make contact he is to tell me right away. I guess we don't know what we don't know right? I've since realized that what I think is common sense is not.
So as you can probably understand, I'm a little scared to go down that road again. I hope someday that will feel like the right thing to do…..
Thank you so much to everyone who responded!