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in the end, I'm the winner

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inconnu posted 5/31/2014 10:19 AM

I know for a lot of you still going through the process it's really hard to imagine feeling like you've won. But heading on 6 years out from d-day #1, and over 4 years divorced, let me just tell you why I'm the winner.

I've rebuilt my life. Yes, with a lot of help, support, and love from my family, friends, and all y'all. But I did it. My old life imploded, and from the wreckage I created a new, better life. One that focuses on me. One that is authentic. One that suits me much better than the old one, as it turns out.

Even now, it is/I am a work in progress. But that's what life is. A moving, fluid thing that we all go through. There is potential, and possibilities, and choices and chances to take. The kind of life we have is up to us. I choose to make my life as positive and happy as I can. I choose to be authentic, and feel the emotions I feel, and deal with them. I am grateful that I got a chance at a "do-over" when I am at an age when I can fully appreciate how wonderful life is supposed to be.

I had the strength to make it through the shitstorm, and I came out of it a happier, better person. No question about it - I win!

SisterMilkshake posted 5/31/2014 10:27 AM

Great positive post, inconnu. Very true, too.

IrishLass518 posted 5/31/2014 10:42 AM

I love this inconnu. I too feel that I have won over all. I understand that it really isn't a competition. I truly hope that xWH is happy. I feel like I won over circumstances that I could have let drown me. I have made me better and that is a pretty good win.

Williesmom posted 5/31/2014 10:52 AM

WXH doesn't occupy my thoughts often now, but when he crosses my mind- I hope he dies a slow, painful, and lonely death.

I am thriving and happy. I truly feel like I came through the mess of infidelity with a better life than I ever could have had with him. Life is so much better now.

tesla posted 5/31/2014 11:20 AM

Great post inconnu!

I feel like in a couple more years, all this hard work I'm putting into my new life is going to start paying dividends. In a way, I've been given the gift of a 'do-over.' Life with ex-shat would have been, well, shit. But having a chance to live an authentic life where I just get to be me...that's pretty awesome.

dmari posted 5/31/2014 14:02 PM

I think I love you! Thank you so much for posting today! I needed this.

wonderingbull posted 5/31/2014 14:27 PM

Well lived and well said...


cayc posted 5/31/2014 14:41 PM

Cool, I've only got 4 more years to go lol!

Thank you for posting. It does help to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

AlwaysBeenStrong posted 5/31/2014 20:23 PM

I so needed to hear this after a hellish day here! Thank you!!!!!

Linus1968 posted 5/31/2014 20:27 PM

Thank you inconnu! You are an inspiration to me.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

idontknowwhy5 posted 5/31/2014 21:04 PM

It's good to read this, I've been having trouble imagining anybody winning.

LeftOutintheCold posted 5/31/2014 23:08 PM

Congratulations!!! I truly appreciate your post - it gives me hope that I'm going to make it to that point too one day.

Lackingcourage posted 6/1/2014 20:46 PM

Thanks for those words, inconnu. I often tell people I'll be fine on the other side (of this D) but I am not sure I always believe it. I have certainly learned who my real friends are through this process, and have learned that I am blessed in many ways. But then I get teary eyed about what I've lost and the things that I am not really capable of doing on my own, at least at this point, that I used to do with STBXH. So much loss, and although I know intuitively that all will be well, it is good to hear that from someone who has been there.

brokeninfl posted 6/1/2014 21:38 PM

Awesome post. I'm on about the same timeline, and I definitely feel the same way. I've won a new life I can be proud of - one I control.

Jrazz posted 6/1/2014 22:08 PM

Love it. Thanks, inconnu.

coldshot posted 6/2/2014 13:02 PM

Fantastic post...I'm right there with you. I don't post a lot but I sure do read a lot. I'm very thankful for everyone on here.

inconnu posted 6/8/2014 16:17 PM

not to shamelessly bump up my own post or anything...

I had a conversation with a friend today who is the mom of a friend of my sons. She has no problems asking my kids what's going on or how they feel, and since ds22 is at her house a lot, she's apparently heard a lot about ex & wifetress. Way more than I have, because I deliberately try to avoid asking my kids about what goes on at their other parent's house.

So um, I knew ex had gotten all kinds of stupid, what with the cheating on me and then leaving me for OW, but damn, hearing stuff my son has told my friend about wifetress...

yep, they really do affair down. Like, he had filet mignon and now he has roadkill affair down.

Not that I needed any proof that I came out the winner in all this, but... yeah, I may be gloating a bit over here, after all.

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