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K Phantom (original poster member #14105) posted at 2:35 PM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
is that a curse or a blessing?
Me BS
Her WS
Kids 0
Married 15 yrs 02/14/1993
DD#1 3/29/06
DD#2 6/23/07
D 4/15/2008
Losconang15 ( member #42544) posted at 3:05 PM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
Feels like both to me sometimes.
Jan 15, 2014. WH had EA/PA
Hopeful reconciliation
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 7:30 PM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
It's a blessing. I know what it is, and I know that it's out there. I also know that I am worthy of receiving it, and that I'm capable of giving it.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
K Phantom (original poster member #14105) posted at 7:44 PM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
If you know the difference then how can you settle for anything less? I've done some dating and seems to me that women only want you for what you can do for them. Not for who you are inside. Maybe this is just a MLC im going through but i just don't understand.
Me BS
Her WS
Kids 0
Married 15 yrs 02/14/1993
DD#1 3/29/06
DD#2 6/23/07
D 4/15/2008
TrulySad ( member #39652) posted at 9:34 PM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
I hope I'm not living in a fantasy world when I still say love is a blessing and a gift. I'm 47, and in all three of my long term relationships, they've cheated. I don't believe it's love that's the curse. They weren't loving me when they did those things. I believe the curse lays within the one who does the crime.
I promise you, there are many women out there who aren't thinking about anything other than who you are as a man, and sadly...will you do right by them.
Me : no longer a BW or BGF. Starting over!
Them : in the past, where they can stay.
Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 10:03 PM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
Blessing.
Good to know that I know how precious it is. Painful at times, yes. However, I know I'm capable of giving it, receiving it and recognizing it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm never going to destroy love b/c I found a shiny turd & mistakenly thought it was a diamond.
My HX, on the other hand .... 
Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long
Now:-----> Everything is as it should be
jendo ( member #43059) posted at 10:29 PM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
Eight weeks post dday and as crazy as it sounds I think I'm finally feeling what love is. I know I've been in love with my husband before but nothing like almost losing everything to wake your relationship up. It's crazy, but now that the fog is truly gone my husband is absolutely pouring love upon me every day in a way he never has. Doesn't excuse his poor choices of course. But his life had been an out of control mess for years and finally he is facing it and gaining control.
[This message edited by jendo at 4:33 PM, June 1st (Sunday)]
BW Me (40ish)- now closer to 50
WH Him (40ish)- now closer to 50
Kids ages 10-20- now 18-28
Married 20 years- no2 28 years
OW 27- passed away 2/4/15 from cervical cancer
DDay 4/3/14- 6 month EA - Yes, I know he could be lying and
Didact ( member #42867) posted at 11:06 PM on Sunday, June 1st, 2014
To me, both
It is a blessing I hadn't known, until the A woke part of me up. I believe I could have become this way without the A, but I can't change what happened.
The curse is that I now see what can be lost if R fails, and it terrifies me (though not enough to not do it right).
No matter how painful, life either adapts or it dies.
BH (Me) 49
WW 48
Married 1985
D-Day Mar 19, 2014
1 year passionate EA/PA, ended by me on d-day.
Attempting to R
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