SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So an ex of my WBF has tried to get him back ever since we started dating. It never worked. He cheated on me in other ways and with other people. Anyway, we've blocked her on his phone, facebook, and every other way possible. Even removed people from our lives who kept her as their friend. A year ago he sent a very nasty letter stating she needed to leave him alone and get on with her life.

We discovered this week that she's continued to try and reach him, sending a message via text, the morning of his birthday. We found it on the ATT statement. We have her blocked via IOS7, but not through ATT directly. Don't know what she sent, just that she's still trying to reach him.

So we decided to tell her BF of almost two years. He was upset, surprised, and like so many of us, unsure of how to process it all.

When he confronted her, she sent more texts to my WBF. She's still blocked, so we don't know what was said, just that she sent them. I suppose she's a little pissed we ousted her.

So today, we are visiting with a good friend of my WBF. He tells us she contacted him and asked him to tell my WBF to quit messing with her life, and quit trying to disrupt it. A little more was said, but that was the basics. In other words she's trying to hurt my WBF and make this out like she's the innocent, to his friends.

I'm through the roof pissed!!!! I know he's doing the right thing. There is no way he's contacting her, or trying to reach her. That piece of shit got caught and is furious she can't play her games anymore. So now, because she knows my WBF will continue to report back to her BF whatever she sends, she's decided to cover her ass, and lie about my WBF. And trust me when I say, I know they are lies. I have all the records. I've sat here with my WBF and watched all this unfold. I was there when he sent the very nasty letter to her telling her to leave his alone. I've seen everything. He has no fears of me having his phone, and if he really had been doing anything, I'd be the first person she tried to contact. She has nothing, and she's guilty, so she's only going to hurt him where she thinks the people are able to be manipulated.

So what do we do???? How do we fix the damage she's doing by lying about my WBF? I'm not some young kid here. This is adult shit, and can seriously affect a person's image. I know the law can be contacted, but for that, we'd probably have to show a large amount of attempts by her. And since we don't have the actual texts, just that she sent them, she can lie about what was in them.

We could really use some advice...

I should add...my first instinct is to contact her and give her a piece of my mind. That pathetic whore. At the same time, talk to friends who know her, and let them know what she's doing.

But...all everyone says here is to remain quiet. I just don't know how, when she's lying to other people now...

A cease and desist letter from a lawyer seems appropriate.

Keeps you both arm's-length away and begins a paper trail. Says you mean business, too.

I think the cease and desist is a good idea. I would also let her current BF know what's happened since you last spoke and advise him of your next steps...

Hi there...just wanted to let you know your gf contacted our friend and said "x". We really don't want any contact with her, to the point that we will be taking legal action. Amy additional attempts of her to contact us, or defame us in any way with mutual acquaintances will be dealt with legally. Just wanted you to be aware so you aren't surprised when the legal dealings begin."

And then, if it still continues, follow through on your threat!

[This message edited by 918Mama at 4:19 PM, June 1st (Sunday)]

Change his phone number.

Maybe having your wbf talk to her bs and have him tell him pretty much the same thing mentioned above? As well as the, next time we will be contacting a lawyer for harassment. They don't know that she's blocked so for all they know you have every single text and voicemail she's ever sent and surely hearing anything about lawyers against her will be alarming and hopefully enough to keep her at bay.

Thank you all for the suggestions! We've talked about changing his number, and I think that's next on the list (good idea). My WBF has suggested it, so I think we just need to bite the bullet and do it.

As for stopping her from spreading these lies to mutual friends, maybe the legal route really is the only way to go. We talked again with my WBF's friend this afternoon. We wanted to clarify what she said. And there was no doubt as to her lying.

I hadn't thought about passing along to her boyfriend that she's spreading these lies. I was worried it would look like we're out to "get her". I guess I never thought she'd be so stupid as to lie to his friends. We were trying to keep things quiet and only tell the BBF. In fact, my WBF has been very respectful of everything, and never went to mutual friends to say all that she'd been doing over the past two years. He knew they had mutual friends and we didn't want the drama of he said/she said.

So if you were the BBF, you'd want to know about her lying to the friends?