I have noticed that we always have a bad week when my period is due. I seem to be ultra sensitive to the hormones since d-day, and even though on some level I KNOW that it is happening I can't seem to reign it in. Has anyone else noticed this? How do you deal with it? I feel like I should lock myself away from everyone. I get so out of control, start arguments and pushing my self destruct button. My WH is very patient and understanding but I wonder if one day I will push him too far.
Tomorrow marks 5 months since the bottom fell out of my world. I am not sure what is happening to me but this past week has been terrible, I feel like something has snapped inside of me. Like the weight of the burden has finally broken me,and I don't want to get up off the floor- I just want to surrender. I feel very strange, numb, empty, desolate and detached from the world. I want to sleep all the time, just to escape from myself because if I allow myself to think, many of my thoughts are starting to give me panic attacks. I am not particularly thinking any new thoughts than I have been over the last 5 mins- I have never stopped obsessing over the affair yet but my reaction to the thoughts has changed and now I feel panic instead of anger.
My period is due again but this time I just feel broken, I don't even have the energy or the fight in me to start on WH. I just feel like I've given up. I know it could be hormonal so I am hoping this will pass. I have been through almost every imagineable feeling but I don't recall feeling like this before and I'm a bit scared :(
[This message edited by MissTrust at 5:36 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]
