SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

How do folks manage the joint expenses after D? I am sure there are different ways to do this...is there an app for that?

I am talking about things like kids clothing, or kids' copays, etc. How do you keep track of who pays what and then pay/reimburse as appropriate?

For clothes XW and I individually buy the kids clothes and we shop at different stores so I can figure out what is mine and hers.

Medical costs and activity costs we split and we do a monthly roll up. She and I will often alternate them so that end of the month roll ups amounts tend to be small.

PMing you since they don't like us posting links to other sites.

I keep an excel spreadsheet that indicates the expense, the amount, the reimbursement due and the date I sent the receipt to the ex.

Cat

I assumed CS payments were meant to cover the basic/daily needs (clothing, shoes etc.).

All other expenses (daycare, school trips, sports etc.) will be split 50/50. For daycare, we will each write a cheque to the daycare directly for half the amount.

All other expenses, I will ask him for his portion up front, before I pay for whatever it is.

We both have benefits plans and we live in Canada so we have free healthcare, so everything medical related is pretty-much covered.

There is a site called Our Family wizard. You can put expenses in there and the parenting schedule. You can send messages in there. You can have it sent to your attorney. it is all admissible in court.
I use this. It doesn't make your ex act like a civil human being. But it's a good place to keep track of everything.

Our Family Wizard has an annual subscription fee. 2Houses.com is free.

Please make sure you specifically include what items will be split 50/50 in your D.

I did not, and XWH pays child support and that's it.

I paid marching band fees (495 per child), instrument lessons, prom tux rental, dinner, corsage, etc, and School yearbooks (65 and 40) last month.

I am VERY fortunate that XWH bought son an older truck and I insisted UP FRONT that XWH pay all gas, insurance, repairs, etc to vehicle as son's main job right now is SCHOOL.

I had estimated expenses rolled into CS. As I pay a rather large CS payment my XWW does not nickel and dime me when it comes to other costs. On the same hand I spend a good amount on my son for things that should be included in the CS payments i.e. clothes, sneakers etc. I also provide pocket money for him each time he visits, which right now is every other weekend. I also personally covered his private school tuition for the last 10 years Pre K through 8th grade. He graduates this Friday and will attend public HS in the town his mother and her fiancé will be moving to after the event. As I'm now retired and living on limited income I expect for him to be dropped off at my door, bags in hand when the CS runs out when he turns 18. I purchased an annuity to cover his CS when I retired 3 years ago. But that's expires after HS. Will see what happens then I guess, but as I said I expect him to be left with me when the money stops.

I agree with homewrecked2011 that you need to be as explicit as possible in the decree as to what will be shared, and those terms. Be aware that many parents use the loophole "mutually agreed" to avoid paying (ie mutually agreed upon sports' fees will be split, so the parent that does not want to pay just refuses). I have several girlfriends who have exes that do this.

I do not have that language in my decree and only receive child support and 1/2 medical expenses. Therefore, I pay 100% of my 3 kids' private school tuition, all activities, school fees, school supplies, summer camps, etc, etc. Everything.

I am a teacher. Ex is a corporate executive at a very large national retail chain.

So ... get as much as you can very specifically worded in your decree.