I would see about things but you are headed for a bit of self destruction.
What is the rush- with this guy or any guy. Settle into your new life and focus on what is out of sync in your system and set it straight for you.
Believe it or not there are still some good emotionally healthy people out there and to them you/we aren't healed or ready for relationships. We are walking red/yellow flags to them. The good ones politely tell us they aren't interested and may even provide us some insight into how they came to that decision. The bad ones take advantage of the situation and we end up posting here about it. For me it was always why I kept attracting the wrong women.
So take some time and focus on yourself until you join the ranks of those people that have worked through there own issues and can spot the red and yellow flags in others. It's worth the wait.
I met a great guy in April although we have only been on a few dates, text/email a bit and have only talked on the phone once.
Red flags. Minor, but there.
We have a lot of chemistry but he hadn't moved out of his married home yet.
He is in the process of getting a divorce so we didn't want to take it to the next level.
Please, for crying out loud, stop putting the blinders on.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
I see the much larger issue that you *don't* see that you are falling for the lies of a
hello, girlie, open your eyes! You did not just cheat on your budding relationship for a quick shag! you've been texting and stuff with a guy who is married! That whole "I'm separated, but we just live in the same house" thing is a classic.
Let me ask you if this scenario sounds more likely..
They are married and live in the same house and sleep in the same bed and also have sex.
So just do whatever you want and have sex with whoever you want. You are fully single.
BLOCK THE PHONE NUMBER of your married text buddy. Do not even give him a chance to explain or he will talk you down, I can tell you are highly vulnerable and he is slick.
Best wishes and take care of yourself
The point is, he will not/does not have the desire to be open and honest with both women and you shouldn't expect him to. You really shouldn't expect him to be able to process feelings or emotions in a healthy way until he is away from her for good and has a chance to mourn the relationship. Different levels of healing for us all, but in house separation is a bitch that can drag you back in with the blink of an eye. I'm not usually on the same page as the more seasoned members in NB, but I fully agree that this is bad all around. You will get some pretty harsh criticism in here. Even if kind, gentle words are used.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Issue #2: April Man. You are not dating him. You've talked on the phone one time. You have had a few kisses. You have chemistry. Some here are questioning the validity of his story about divorcing and moving out. Only time will tell if that is true and he did move out this weekend. Only time will tell if what you have with him progresses into dating. Progresses into a healthy casual dating relationship. And the wondering about his reaction to your ONS makes me wonder if you are "cut out" for casual dating? I know I'm not, even though I thought I was...I get to attached for casual, you may too...
And the chances of two people who have both only filed and neither of whom's divorces are final meeting and falling into a healthy relationship (casual or not) are not great. It can happen. It is rare. I know from my experiences I was SO not ready to know what I wanted/needed 8 months out from filing...
We all make mistakes. Learn from them. Take time to heal....and make the effort to forgive yourself, to understand the reasons behind breaking your moral code (alcohol? adventure?) last week.
[This message edited by better4me at 12:04 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]
They met four months ago and have only had one date and
*one phone call*<----shady. Married men love text.
If he is free to come and go as he pleases why hasn't he made more time? The whole "don't want to be hurt again" just seems like more excuses to hold her at arm's length
Then the weekend he's supposed to move out he falls off the radar. Doesn't add up.
Yet I also have a friend who did in house separation with her husband and they are patching things up.
My pov also is, if he is legit, it doesn't seem fair of the guy to be trying to date while he is still in the house.
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.