Thank you so much for any insight.
"I don't understand the world today I don't understand what she needs I gave her everything she threw it all away" tom petty
Did it save our marriage.... maybe, we saved our marriage & my wife was doing all the things a remorseful spouse should do, but the tools we got there helped with our communication.
Help with healing... though one... I'm going to say no for me, but that is not the design or intent of the program.
It's all about the communication tools. Some of our marriages would not have gotten to a point where our spouse might feel they needed to wander to get what they wanted.
It is a GREAT program and I have suggested it to many since our completion a few months ago.
1. Was your marriage headed for S or D before attending?
2. Did the program save your marriage?
3. Did the program help with your healing of the betrayals and affair?
You share nothing with others unless you wish and those are only some general behavior type things. You will be safe.
I got some of the most beautiful letters from my W... But, my W made an effort. I would say you can be very wise by paying attention when you go.. Because a person who tries at something like this will prove they want you, despite their sin.. someone who does not.. well, never will. Do you understand what I mean?
I still use the method today.. be it with words from my mouth and not so much writing.
2. Yes. And when I say yes, I mean because, during our post-sessions, I left the house twice and we went through an in-house separation that I meant to end in divorce. Because during that time, I found out that my FWH was lying to my face about his purging of porn, and right after our post-sessions were over that he was private browsing to get his porn fix. We kept going to post sessions although there were two weeks that I just sat there like a zombie, with tears streaming down my face. And at the last session, I told the group that I didn't know where we were headed. But we kept talking. Even when I did a modified 180d on him, we used the techniques to speak to each other.
3. It helped us to talk about it. It helped us to explain our feelings about it. It helped us to communicate, effectively, so yes. I think that it helped us get through a big chunk of healing in a quicker fashion.
Of all of the couples that attended with us, there were, I think, well over 1/2 that were headed for divorce. And a lot who were just miserable and showed it. My advice? Go. You have literally nothing to lose. And a lot to gain.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
2. It gave us tools to communicate, time to focus on each other and our marriage, and an opportunity to express how we felt.
3. We are a year out from dday, so I cannot say it saved our marriage at this point as we are still healing. Retrouvaille gave me the feeling that it was going to be okay, we were going to make it, and that our marriage was worth the work.
In one word, I would describe it as enlightening! We are going to be repeating it this year, so I think it will give us the extra push we need.
Sign up! You won't regret it.