Is there anyone that can be my online go between.
During this time, I don't want to be contacted by my WW directly and rather have a go between. Preferred a couple far in their Reconciliation.
Tell her on "X" date you will change the locks. But first, take all she agreed was yours you think she might steal and take it to a friends place.
Congratulations on success with everyman's battle.. Peace brother and do not fear eliminating someone who chooses not to love you from our life.. Keep being quality and your good will come.
[This message edited by LostSamurai at 6:55 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]
I am going to F UP OM#1
You know that that is the WORST thing you could do and ultimately is not going to make you feel better for more then 5 minutes, plus could land you in some serious trouble.
I know the pain hurts, I know you feel lost, unloved, scared and there is a lot of anger and hate covering a lot of emotion.
The way I see it though- you have two choices!
1. You can stay off your meds, beat the hell out of OM, show your WW that she has sent you crazy and validate her crazy by allowing her to know how much room she has in your head, rent free. You may get away with it, you may get arrested, have a criminal record, maybe even lose yourself so much that you accidentally kill the OM and go to jail for a really long time! Fact is that is not going to take the pain away and it is not going to make your wife love you!
2. You can follow your original plan, pack up her crap, leave it in the garage, front lawn, whatever floats your boat. File for divorce, go back to your doctor and talk about how your meds aren't working, find a friend to use as a shoulder to cry on, continue IC, post here, heal yourself and make yourself ready for the amazing life you can still have! Don't let her consume your life! She has already taken so much from you.
Let yourself feel the pain, cry, scream, break some crap, do it in a safe environment and when you are tired and broken down, come back here and let us help nurse your wounds! Be the man you know you are capable of being, strong but kind and caring! Just don't give it to her any more!
You have every right to hate the OM, but beating the piss out of him does nothing to change the core of who he is, a loser with no morals. Besides at the end of the day it was your STBXW that chose to sleep with him. Be angry with her for throwing what you had away. If he wasn't willing some other douche would have been.
You deserve more, and the best revenge is a life well lived. You being strong, happy, and independent, you having your daughter love and respect her dad because you are a strong good loving father means much more than a black eye and sore rib cage.
As I see it I have nothing to lose at this point. They both already ruined my life as I see, for the last 3 years. She is just sitting on her bum, and doesn't give a hoot.
We shall see.
[This message edited by LostSamurai at 7:46 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]
As I see it I have nothing to lose at this point.
Lost, I have followed your story. Your WW is all shades of crazy and if you go cave man on the OM I have absolutely no doubt she would take that to the bank and restrict your access to your daughter.
Breathe. Big deep breaths. Don't loose yourself.
Integrity, dignity, strength.
My Ddays - Jan 2010 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.
Vent away. But as BBT pointed out you have your daughter to lose.
Even more importantly, your daughter has you to lose.
[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 7:49 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]
YOU need to step up and be the best dad to your daughter who is caught up in this mess. YOU need to be the responsible parent here, and yes, you can lose her if you do anything to OM.
You are very young, you have an ENTIRE life ahead of you. Divorce is not the end, it is the beginning of a life full of peace and happiness without all this drama you have endured. For you, Lost, life truly begins NOW. You have not had a life in a long time, start thinking about your future sans your wife.
Continue being a man of integrity and honesty.
You chose to try and try and try. Do not be angry at her or him because you were more than willing to attempt R. Be angry at the gift she threw away.
You have nothing to lose? Really....Stop for a second and think about that one. That's just childish, fear speaking.
You are healthy.
You are gainfully employed.
You have your home.
You have a wonderful perfect daughter.
You have friends and support.
You have the ability to heal yourself, and become a more complete man than you ever knew you could be.
Those are all things to loose, and in my book fairly significant things.
Vent, call names, write cathartic angry words, but remember anything you act in anger about will certainly hurt one person, your daughter deserves better than that dad.
It's the best revenge.
You are worth it.