As I have posted before, my DD8 has had issues with bullying at her school due to her propensity for wearing boys clothing, playing 'stereotypical' boyish games and having a pixie haircut. The bullying usually takes place in the girls' restroom. We had thought we nixed it in the bud earlier in the year, but DD8 broke down in tears on Sunday night after a discussion with fwh in regard to going shirtless at the park. It was hot, she wanted to take her shirt off, he said no. She took it as 'daddy' not letting her be herself, when in reality daddy forgot to bring sunscreen and DD8 turns into a tomato after about 5 mins.
Anyway, we were discussing this when she was getting ready for bed. She became upset and started to cry about "this" but after getting her to calm down, and fwh leaving the room, she started telling me about how embarrassed she was to use the bathroom at school because the girls pick on her. They don't believe that she is a girl even when she introduces herself. Apparently it is a daily occurrence that she hasn't told anyone about because of the her embarrassment and shame.
I reached out to a number of moms that have kids in DD8s grade to see if it was happening to anyone else and they all said no. However, one mom told me that her son had told her of an incident that happened a couple of weeks prior. He told her that a number of 4th grade girls were picking on DD8 and that he overheard them plotting at "proving" she isn't a girl. My mind immediately went to them pulling down her pants while on the playground. Whether that was their plan or not, I have no idea, but that is what jumped into my head. This mom profusely apologized for blowing off her son's story because she thought it was nothing. (Her son told her that she didn't have to worry about DD8 because he will is always watching out for her. )
I contacted the school's principal and she immediately opened up an official bully investigation. Luckily the school isn't that big and most of the students know each other so I'm hoping it isn't going to take a long time for the the instigators to be identified and the investigation to be concluded. As a short term 'fix' DD8 is going to be using the principal's personal bathroom instead of the larger restroom in the hallway. (DD8 is not happy about this because she believes, rightly so, that she shouldn't have to use a different bathroom because she isn't doing anything wrong.) The school is also having an emergency assembly to remind the students about what constitutes bullying and how bad it is. On the positive side, the principal told me that she is making it a priority that it stops this year. She doesn't want DD8 to go into 3rd grade, or any other grade, and have to deal with this anymore.
It's funny because as a parent you always hope that your child's childhood will be better than your's but for DD8 she is mimicking mine but the opposite direction. I was bullied for developing a "woman's" body very early and she is being bullied for not being girly enough. GAH!!!!
As an aside, I have also previously discussed the transgender aspect that we, as a family, are coming to terms with. DD8's IC still does not believe that she is truly transgender and lately the signs have been there that this could be correct. DD8 has been making comments about being a boy now and a girl later and other such stuff and I believe that this too is a huge factor in her "embarrassment and shame". She is confused as to who she is meant to be and with others making fun of her it just makes her confusion more profound.