My appointment with the L is in an hour and I am in a major panic attack. I have already taken meds but they aren't helping. I figured maybe some supportive words from you all will help.
I am going no matter how bad this attack gets and I will be so proud of myself when it's done for doing it by myself. They might think I am a crazy lady but I don't care.
Show me some love SI, I need it.
BS me 41 WH 42 his whore was my friend Married 24 years Finally finding R? 3 kids 3 grand kids DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014 DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo
Honey I would go with you if I could. I wish you could feel the strength that we are all sending you. YOU can do this, and just keep telling yourself, this is not your doing. YOU are better than what he has allowed you to become.
YOU are so very strong. YOU will find happiness again, and when you do, NO ONE will ever be able to steal it from you again.
I do feel the strength from you guys in the last 6 months I have grown so much stronger because of what I found here.
Old Breezy would not have done half of what I have done since finding SI.
Go become empowered.
And YOU'RE my new hero
(((breezy)))
If you want them to quit stabbing you in the back, then you need to quit handing them the knife.
I've told,others here have a list of your legal issues (the lawyer is not a marriage counselor or psychiatrist) which will help you as you'll be armed with knowledge
Suggestions:
Time for contested and uncontested Fees and costs Assets and liabilities (approximate ok for now) Property division Custody and support if minors involved Spousal support Medical insurance coverage Pension rights Visitation if minors involved Role of fault, if any, in the above
Believe it or not, it won't take more than an hour if the lawyer has handled these cases before.
The lawyers should all be friendly and know you're there to get as much info as you can. Don't get sidetracked on your questions, it's not a social visit, they shouldn't talk your ear off over other things...since each minute with a lawyer is usually being billed. Anyone who gives you bad jives or red flags, go elsewhere unless they are known as the absolute BEST. The bad part about that is they usually have underlings do the majority of the work & you don't hear from them personally, if at all...cause they are the adjudicator, you should see them if it goes to trial. A possible reason, just conjecturing, most attorneys are not adjudicators & don't go into courtrooms. If you have to do a trial, ask how comfortable or experienced they are. This is why you'll see so many attorneys talking with their clients in hallways, cafeterias etc at the courthouse, they are trying to make deals so they can avoid a trial.
[This message edited by oldtimer97 at 2:54 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]
To save a marriage, you must be willing to lose the marriage.
[This message edited by BreatheAgain10 at 3:04 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]
Knowledge is power, I am not as good or as bad off as I thought. Next step is deciding legal separation or D. I got the low down on both. Feeling much better that is for sure.
I panicked the entire time but I made it through and I am so very proud of myself right now.
I still hate my life but today I feel so good.
Now he can't bullshit you with the "my lawyer told me we'll destroy you " speech, can he?
When some future poster demonstrates the same reluctance, please tell them while it's not fun, it's not horrible, either. Helps,if they hear it from a layperson.
I often told nervous clients that I knew visiting me for the first time was about as much fun as a trip to the dentist, but way easier than a trip to the undertaker's office.
I have a couple of things to do as homework and then talk to her again and things are on their way to a better day.
I will be sure to share my experience with the newbies, I really regret not going earlier.
Congratulations! Infidelity, legal separation and/or divorce are all significant emotional events, a rite of passage so to speak, like getting married, having children, the death of a parent or sibling. But from this event(s) you are going to be forced to participate, good or bad, and you will experience a growth & knowledge that wasn't present until this/these event(s). Have confidence that no matter the outcome, you will still come out the better for it in the long run.
Couple of tips for you. Now that you've got one attorney under your belt, unless he already has one of his own locked in. If not, go for as many free consults as you're up for. The reason? Anyone you consult with (if you're in the US) can not take him as a client. Doing so, would be a breech of confidentiality because of your prior consult with them. This is handy knowledge to have if there are some top dog attorneys in your locale. A good place to start would be "mens rights" attorneys.
2nd. Panic attacks. I had a brief spell with either panic attacks or my heart condition. My cardiologist at the time gave me an exercise he said would help for either. Basically you sit in a chair, throw your head down as far between your legs as you can to get the blood flowing there and repeatedly hold your breath for as long as you can (like you do with hiccups) until the attack passes. Mine mysteriously stopped right after I had to perform them @ Walmart in the shoe department Good luck on that & congrats again!
It does feel good when you know where the reality is for you if you decide to divorce. It may not come to that but if you do, you know where you stand.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And you've taken that step.
Hugs!
You are an amazing woman, who can get a whole hellofa lot more out of life. Go get it Girl.
(((and strength)))
