SoftCocoa, good decision on not playing games! Right now spend every bit of energy you have taking care of yourself, don't waste any of your precious resources/energy on your WH.Remember he is the one that is broken, you can not fix him only he can decide to fix himself (again don't waste energy on him).
Also, what you will find is that those that truly love you (family/friends) will be bending over backwards to help you when you decide the time is right to tell them.
Follow the 180, remember this is in no way your fault. Whether it was a EA or a PA makes no difference it is still and affair.
Keep posting here whether it be a question, or just venting these fellow SI'rs are the greatest!
Wish you the best!
4 kids all adults.
Married 22+ years.
I have moved on and life is good!