SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

SoftCocoa posted 6/3/2014 20:10 PM

I finally found the courage to tell my Godmother about my husbands emotional affair betrayal. I had to text her, i couldn't face her with the initial information. She was completely shocked. Then I saw her the next day and she was still in shock. She cursed about him for about 5 min then she went in support mode. I had read the 180 in the healing library the night before. My Godmother was saying quite a few of the things I had read about. One thing she did say is he probably doesn't think he did anything wrong. Not that, that is an excuse. In his mind if (and I do me IF) he didn't have a physical relationship then he thinks he is not in the wrong. If I was having an affair of any kind and he found out, he couldn't handle it. I had thought of making it look like I was out doing things with someone else. But then I quickly thought.....I don't have the energy, memory of the lies, and I am too damn old (37) to play these games, I don't have time for that. I had a miscarriage last year before I found out about what my husband was up to and I wonder if that was why I had it. Within a year I lost my baby and my marriage. I still feel like a fool bragging about what a good man he was. I thought he was a good man. I still can't tell my family yet. I love them to death and they love me, I know when I tell them I will have to console a few of them, convince a few not to drive out of state to come get me. So I need to wait until I don't cry every time I think about it.

bigskyblues posted 6/4/2014 01:04 AM

SoftCocoa, good decision on not playing games! Right now spend every bit of energy you have taking care of yourself, don't waste any of your precious resources/energy on your WH.Remember he is the one that is broken, you can not fix him only he can decide to fix himself (again don't waste energy on him).

Also, what you will find is that those that truly love you (family/friends) will be bending over backwards to help you when you decide the time is right to tell them.

Follow the 180, remember this is in no way your fault. Whether it was a EA or a PA makes no difference it is still and affair.

Keep posting here whether it be a question, or just venting these fellow SI'rs are the greatest!

Wish you the best!

BSB

BrokenheartedUK posted 6/4/2014 03:00 AM

Softcocoa, it sucks right now. Big time. But you've done the right thing telling people who can give you support. It's horrible having to tell your family but you should. If they love you they will support you. Tell whoever needs consoling that they can't lay that on you right now.

I still cry when I think about telling close friends of ours how they all would burst into tears and double over. It's so upsetting but it's all apart of the process.

Hugs.

Ostrich80 posted 6/4/2014 03:21 AM

You made a good decision SC, not to take part in the games. Your right, too much energy your gonna need to take care of yourself. I'm glad your GM supported you, that always helps. I'm so sorry you lost your baby... you've had a rough year. I hope things get better for you