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Newest Member: Remember (46025)

User Topic: The Up$ide
movingforward13
♀ 38405
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ever since I got rid of my ex, I have been doing well financially. Shows how much I would sacrifice- being broke because I was in love and wanted to give and buy him everything.

Money may not be everything but this is definitely the upside of a new beginning. I am not spending my money on someone who is financially irresponsible- I finally have a SAVINGS!


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 645 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel the same way. I love not having to live paycheck to paycheck or stressing about paying bills. That's all I did while I was married and I hated it.


A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

Posts: 13878 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
sunsetslost
♂ 39885
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's amazing isn't it? The "me first" person goes away and the $$ stays in the bank. I used to get this one all the time: "Well if you get something then I get to get something too!"

What are we 5 years old?


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 781 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been unemployed for two months, and I STILL have more money than I did when I was married with two incomes. I couldn't even tell you where the money would go back then - it just went.

Crazy.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26476 | Registered: Aug 2011
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Raising hand and joining club!

My 401K and other savings are growing, my bills and credit cards are paid on time, and there is enough money left for a fairly comfortable life. I prioritize my spending, no more living paycheck to paycheck is such a blessing. After 20+ years of hard work, I finally feel I have arrived and can harvest the fruit of my labor.

On the other hand, exh still has not changed the email address on his credit cards so his emails come to our joined email address which we keep for the administration of our rental properties. He borrowed 7000$ today from a credit card and the fraud department checked in if everything was kosher...


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
sunsetslost
♂ 39885
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On the other hand, exh still has not changed the email address on his credit cards so his emails come to our joined email address which we keep for the administration of our rental properties. He borrowed 7000$ today from a credit card and the fraud department checked in if everything was kosher...

I told my parents I'd give STBX $20 to see her credit card statement. Being married to me got her a 5 digit limit (post S) and yet a few months later it was "Can I have some time for the balance transfer I owe you?"

Hope she had fun


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 781 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sunsetlost, I have to admit it makes me grin with some evil joy to see how he is robbing Peter to pay Paul..

We used to live on balance transfers and I could never figure out where the money went either. I used to wake up from nightmares that we could not pay the bills. Worked a full time job and up to 3 contract jobs at the same time and it was never enough. Now it's one job only and financial life is better than ever.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh man, this is me too. It used to be that we needed tax returns to 'catch up.' My tax return this year went straight to my savings and I haven't had to touch it!! I save a portion of every paycheck (including some going for Teslet's college fund). That never happened before and ex-shat made 5 times what I make now!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4819 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Phoenix1
♀ 38928
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too, me too!

Even though ex stuck me with horrific debt he racked up, I have already made a big dent in it, money goes into savings each pay day, I am not living paycheck to paycheck like we did our entire marriage, and bills even get paid early! All with half the income! How the hell does that happen?? Oh yeah, it doesn't get squandered on frivolous crap and extramarital affairs!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1309 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*waves hand in the air* me too! I make 1/3 of what XWH makes, but my bills get paid.

What the hell do they all do with their money? I cringe to think about it.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3559 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Charity411
♀ 41033
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've got my hand in the air too. I remember the day I realized I was no longer afraid to open the mail. No more financial surprises! It's a great feeling. I live within my means and it feels great.

Posts: 413 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
npain
♀ 33539
Member # 33539
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to admit that I join these ranks as well...even though the ex ran up bills and left me with them, I find that I have enough for me, the kids, the house, the car. The house looks better than when he lived in it. The kids and I take better vacations. The bills are paid on time and I'm making a dent in the credit cards. I'm much more at peace, even though there is much less money.

Oh, and even with less money, I managed to replace 1/2 of the furniture in the house so the place looks fresh and homey. My main stress is about the divorce, not on how to meet my bills.

You really don't realize how much they suck up until they are no longer around to hoover resources


S, Filed 4/17/14--YAY, ME!!

Posts: 515 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New York
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Npain, everything you said is playing out here as well. Except for the guest bedroom, all furniture is new. I hired a cleaning lady twice a month which makes a big difference. We still shop at discount stores and love to go "thrifting" but now I don't have think twice if I want to treat the girls to an occasional brand name piece of clothing. When we go on vacation, we go on vacation and within my means, splurge on what we want to splurge on. The peace of mind of no financial woes because of a narcissistic, irresponsible big spender in the house is priceless.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
7yrsflushed
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not spending my money on someone who is financially irresponsible- I finally have a SAVINGS!
^^^SO true! I have WAAAYY more money then I had in the past. I used to get pissed because we could never take trips and now I go places all the time and it's all paid for up front.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1941 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Topic Posts: 14

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