SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

tesla posted 6/3/2014 23:09 PM

It's so obvious and transparent.
This guy is trying to 'set me up.' You know, sending texts asking for Teslet at the last minute, trying to get me to engage, trying to make it look like I'm withholding visitation. Anything to deflect from the issue that he is ***massively*** in debt to me and his son.

There is no way this shit will work. No. Way. He tries to bring up visitation at Friday's conference and I'm done. He complains to anyone who will listen that I'm fucking with the schedule and that I'm denying him visitation. Well then do something about it, asshole.

All he gets from me is unemotional, business polite answers. Good luck finding a weak spot to exploit in those, fucker. The more I quote the goddamned guidelines to him, the less likely he is to follow them. Because he's going to show me. He always thought he was such a cowboy...making his way in the world to his own beat...he always bragged to me when we were married about how nobody ever told him what to do...he always outsmarted people and got his way. Yeah, sure. And I was stupid enough once upon a time to believe it.
There is no way I sit across the table from him on Friday and NOT radiate how utterly incompetent and pathetic I believe him to be.

peridot posted 6/3/2014 23:16 PM

Sending mojo and some prayers your way for Friday.

gonnabe2016 posted 6/3/2014 23:59 PM

Is this sit-down a *new* development.....as in talked about and scheduled in the last coupla weeks?
I am *really* getting the feeling that this conference is ex-shat's way of trying to *strong-arm* you into changing shit up for his *temporary* job situation.

Stay on task Friday. You are there to talk about dumbass....I mean ex-shat....paying you the money that he owes you, and that is a totally SEPARATE issue from placement. Regardless of what either ex-shat or his L say......the response needs to be "so what is your plan to pay me the $<x> amount you owe me so that you can stay out of jail?"

.....and I *get* the irritation about him bitching about withholding visitation, although Monster's favorite go-to words are that I use the kids to *punish* him.

SBB posted 6/4/2014 00:48 AM

There is no way I sit across the table from him on Friday and NOT radiate how utterly incompetent and pathetic I believe him to be.

Please think of us all sitting right behind you in that room emanating a FTG force field around you, whispering "arse cheese" in your ear. Try not to laugh though.

Do you have a mediator or just Ls? If you have a mediator they should keep it on track. You're there to talk about his contempt issue. You following the visitation guidelines is not up for discussion. Full.Stop.

He can bleat to anyone he likes. Ironically he is following the guidelines by not seeing Teslet when he doesn't follow the guidelines. No way to outsmart anyone there. It's in black and white whether he comprehends it or not. That is all.

I know you know it but I'll say it anyway - you've so got this. I'm just sorry you have to be in his presence. One step closer to money for you and/or jail for him.

dmari posted 6/4/2014 01:27 AM

I'm sure he thinks he is the only dipshit that hatched THIS "plan". Idiot. What is the objective for Friday's conference?

JerseyCowgirl posted 6/4/2014 06:42 AM

If you can get this book before your meeting it might help...it helped me keep my cool during my negotiations..."Verbal Judo"
Written by a man who trains police officers to diffuse situations with words to obtain information & calm down situations.
Ex...my ex wanted all the furniture so I did a verbal judo..asked him what he thought it was worth because I might want to pay him half for it...of course he stated some astronomical amount so I said..well then give me half that amount & come get it all..boy he shut up fast! This book was a godsend to me!

Williesmom posted 6/4/2014 07:16 AM

You got this.

Don't even bother losing sleep over that jagoff.

It's just a little sad that he's this stupid.

Compartmented posted 6/4/2014 08:01 AM

There is no way I sit across the table from him on Friday and NOT radiate how utterly incompetent and pathetic I believe him to be.

nekorb posted 6/4/2014 08:03 AM

Wow. Yeah. If you're losing sleep I hope it's because you can't stop laughing over how ridiculous this situation is and how deluded ex-shat is.

People see. They hear. Let him open his mouth and hang himself.

gonnabe2016 posted 6/4/2014 09:55 AM

t/j

he stated some astronomical amount so I said..well then give me half that amount & come get it all..boy he shut up fast!

end t/j

ButterflyGirl posted 6/4/2014 10:33 AM

Ex and I had 2 completely ridiculous mediations as well. Had my terrible lawyer for the first one and ended up with a temporary 8-week agreement with NOTHING I wanted, giving him 3 overnights a week with OW getting them to and from school while he worked. After the 8 weeks, I told him to fuck off and I wasn't following the rules in there anymore. I was keeping the children and would come snatch them from her dirty hands since I don't have to let OW have them when he's at work. There was no agreement in place, so I didn't have to leave them with her. The police will always give the children to a parent over a stranger. But that also meant he wouldn't pay the child support we agreed upon. Douche ONLY paid when he was court ordered to.

I finally had my good lawyer the second time. My ex asked that we be split into separate rooms, which I wanted anyway. The first thing he did was send over a note through the mediator refusing the schedule I wanted, with him demanding 50/50 with OW watching them, so my lawyer said, "We are done," and we got up and left. Took 5 minutes.

We have a rule in our state that we *HAVE* to go to mediation before trial. So, we did, but it absolutely did not solve anything. We knew how delusional he was.. I actually ended up with more at trial than I was asking for in mediation. My ex is such a dumbass..

You probably realize already that ex-shat just needs to be taken to trial. He is SOOO fucking deluded, just let the judge deal with him and don't sweat this mediation.. Man I hope that FuckTard has to sleep on the cold concrete in jail a few nights..

tesla posted 6/4/2014 16:28 PM

DAMMIT!!!
4-way has to be rescheduled!!!!
We still don't have current income information from ex-shat (surprise, surprise) or any response to requests...so a 4-way would have been useless anyway.

I think when we do get this thing rescheduled, I'm going to let my lawyer know that if we do not have his information that there is no point to meeting to 'work things out.' The goal of this farce, by the way, is to settle on a new CS number due to my carrying Teslet on my health insurance and for ex-shat to offer a payment plan for the 2012 tax refund and the arrearage. (The payment plan idea is utter bullshit...)
We are so ending up in court over this crap again.

nowiknow23 posted 6/4/2014 16:46 PM

I'm so sorry, tesla. Ugh.

tryingagain74 posted 6/4/2014 18:46 PM

What a friggin' clown.

How pathetic that he sees himself as some kind of "bad boy" because he's not paying HIS SON'S CHILD SUPPORT!!!

Ex-shat, you're not a cowboy. You're a cad. A manchild. An embarrassment. I wish that someone meaningful in his life with half a brain (so... not Stripper Whore) would tell him that a real man takes care of his children.

I'm sorry that you're now onto the next act in this Theater of the Absurd.

IrishLass518 posted 6/4/2014 20:07 PM

What.The.Hell? So he gets to skate AGAIN? When does the court actually step in and step up for you and your son? This is why he does it, because there are no consequences for his non action. I am actually so pissed for you right now. This is how NPD became an epidemic.

Compartmented posted 6/4/2014 20:14 PM

Sorry, Tesla!!! I hate postponements! You get all riled up and then have to cool down, wait and have it happen again.

SH*T!

peridot posted 6/4/2014 20:54 PM

Can you just skip all this crap and go straight to the judge? He's going to stretch this out as long as he can.

SBB posted 6/4/2014 21:00 PM

If you can skip all of it I'd do that. He will pull as much fuckery as he can as often as he can. That is a given. No surprises there.

If you can't you just take deep breaths and remind yourself that he is just getting more rope. More rope. More rope.

FTG.

tesla posted 6/4/2014 21:45 PM

ohmygosh.

This guy is losing it. He of course texted again asking for a midweek visit tomorrow and then he says

And for future reference, the assumption that should be made is that Tuesday's are my mid week visitation day...should a Tuesday not work for ME, then I will exercise it on Wednesday.

Me

You may not assume either one day or another in a given week. However, I will assume Tuesdays as your midweek visitation day going forward. Should you not be able to exercise a given Tuesday, if you let me know the Sunday before, we an attempt to make alternate arrangements.
As for tomorrow, less than 24 hours is too short of notice to schedule a visit as we have already made plans.

Jesus. Then he starts blowing up my phone.
Him

Tomorrow is the beginning of summer break! He is mine for the month.

Today was his last day of school.

Stop playing games. You're using my son to hurt me and its bull shit.

You were informed in February that I wanted him in June. Just cause you want me out of his life doesn't entitle you to deny me my time with him. I will be there tomorrow to get him. please have him ready by 4

Sigh.
Me

I only received 2 communications from you in the month of February. Neither mentioned what you reference. Since you did not elect your summer visitation, per the guidelines, I elected it for you and sent it to you by email on 3 April. I handed you a copy of that email on 16 April. As a reminder, that email said your visitation begins 6 June at 6 pm and goes through 6 July at 6 pm. I elected my midweek visitation days as Wednesdays from 2-7 pm and I assume your one regular weekend that falls on 20 June - 22 June. I will also call Teslet every other day at 8 p.m. unless you advise me of a more convenient time.

Him

His break is divided between us in two week increments or the month. It begins the day after his last day of school as per the guidelines. Not 2 days after. As your dispute is not that I get him the first half of summer then I will assume you misread the guidelines. I will pick him up tomorrow as is my right per the guidelines.

Ugh...and super-sigh.
Me

What you are referencing is the guideline's definition of summer break, it is not the definition of a pick-up time. But if you feel I am still in error, refer it to your lawyer and should I have not interpreted this correctly, a day can always be added at the end.

Him

No I have plans with him. Why would they define summer break if not to know the parameters by which you can divide it up. Stop playing your stupid games. You know I told you in February. You know what the guidelines say. You are being willfully obstructive just to satisfy your vindictive nature. I will pick him up tomorrow.

Him...again...cause I guess he had more to say

And why would you think that you get my weekend in June? As it happens we will be spending our weekends camping. this weekend Teslet will be traveling with his family to Illinois on a camping trip, I will forward you an address and specific dates. I will try to work around your weekend visitations, but you may not have mine as well.

Obviously I'm crickets with this douche. I'm going to drop an email to my lawyer...because this is ridiculous. And no one (including my pup) is going to be home tomorrow afternoon. At. All.
This piece of shit is going to try to pull some sort of fuckery...his ass should have been in jail from the goddamn contempt charge months ago...if he had gone to jail maybe he wouldn't keep thinking that he can pull this shit. And what is this shit about going perpetual camping in Illinois...which is the opposite direction of where he was supposedly going to be working/camping/whatthefuckevering?
Fuck this guy.

betrayedfriend posted 6/4/2014 21:57 PM

Please tell me he'll be in my neck of the woods... I'd love to go bust some sense into his godforsaken thick skull... I'm near St. Louis... He can't even understand what he's reading in the guidelines, how the hell does he remember to breathe in or out on his own?! What a moron. Go get him Tesla... Nail his stripper infested balls to the wall...

[This message edited by betrayedfriend at 10:02 PM, June 4th (Wednesday)]