I was so angry and upset, but now...I am just completely heartbroken. And the one, I loved the most doesn't even care.
I am working on myself, and I am making plans to do things with the daughter. Going to try and take her to the Washington Zoo. Free but a lot to see.
One thing I can say with certainty, once you finish letting go and get through you're grief, you are going to feel better. You will get through this.
Sending you strength and courage friend.
I guess your right.
Be joyful when you are with your daughter. Three years old is a great age, so inquisitive! Make her the center of your life, and you will experience joy each and every day.
Find an outside activity to keep you busy, I always found that when I was out of my environment and around people (even though sometimes I'd be faking it), I felt a bit better...just snippets of relief, but something to cling to.
Keep talking here, and remember you aren't alone...
Them : in the past, where they can stay.
This hurts, and it hurts like nothing else.
It's ok to be sad, and to cry, and to scream, and to let it all out.
You are allowed to, and should grieve. You are dealing with the loss of a M, and a W. It stings. If you don't allow yourself to feel what it normal, and stuff it all down, or compartmentalize it, or sweep it under the rug, then you won't heal properly.
I compare it to having a wound. If you don't properly clean it, and care for it, it will appear like it is healing, and sometimes much more quickly than if you had taken the time to really clean it out, and allow it to heal from the bottom up, when you don't let this happen it gets icky, filled with infection, and causes poison, and infection to spread throughout.
Heal yourself the right way, so you only have to go through it once.
Start focusing on you and your daughter. Demand equal time, and enjoy that time with her. Let he know her father loves her more than anything. SHE deserves that. It will also help you heal.
Communicate with her via Email only and about finances, and your daughter only. She doesn't care about anything else, and you only open yourself up for more pain by attempting to discuss more.
You can do this, and WE all 40000 Plus of us got your back friend.
I will take your advice. Once I keep myself focused, I am almost ready to stop, but then when I stop, I just want to cry. I just want to survive this day, and go see my daughter.
Tears are pain leaving your body.
Let it out. Wail. Cry. Gnash your teeth. Sob.
Then plan on doing it again. Eventually, you can actually schedule it. I used to do it at home every night at 9:00. Then just Sunday at 9:00. Then some Sundays I forgot.