Im feeling down today. Lately when I have triggers or bad thoughts I am trying to use the stop sign method and if I am unable to I just grit and bear it.
BUT I havent been sharing them with WH.
I guess because what's the point? Me sharing all these painful feelings isnt going to rewrite history ...it isnt going to have my WH unfuck the OW.
And I guess for the most part WH and I have been getting along. I just dont feel the same anymore. I dont feel the same way about us, our past, what we meant to each other, us being soulmates, us meeting my destiny etc.
SO is this acceptance? If not, what is acceptance?
I KNOW forgiveness will never happen. And I KNOW I will never feel the same as I did for WH.
I am going to start taking anti depressants. WH and I both agreed I need them. WH claims he is going to get some medicine too...I wont hold my breath on that one. Still no counseling tho.
I dont think WH understands or will ever understand the impact of what he did. He regrets it, but there is no remorse. We are surely rug sweeping.
Just feeling down and a little lonely.