Member # 34543
| Posted: 9:38 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014|
I hate it when I read people's Facebook posts about their anniversaries. I get all annoyed and petty about it. Bleah.
Then I feel bad for feeling that way.
It's like reverse schadenfreude...freudenschad?
D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12
Posts: 620 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
Member # 42758
| Posted: 9:39 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014|
I know what you mean! It seems like everyday there is a mushy post and wedding picture to go along with it....
Glad I am not the only one who feels this way!
Married 15 years
You can't rationalize irrational behavior.
Posts: 137 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: North Carolina
Member # 33226
| Posted: 9:54 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014|
Then I feel bad for feeling that way.
No need to feel bad about that reaction - your feelings are valid, Harriet. I remember feeling exactly the same way.
I'm to the point now where I am happy for the couple without connecting it in anyway to my experiences, but it took time for me to get there. I'm sure you will, too.
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 29716 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 14759
| Posted: 11:08 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014|
Have you ever seen posts of people complaining about their spouses? Facebook is where people put on a facade of how wonderful their lives are.
Me: BW 60
Him: STBXWH 62
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/2014
Posts: 494 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
Member # 40173
| Posted: 11:37 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014|
^^^what NIK said.
Comparing ourselves to others is a human trait, but it is also a very quick way to stinkyness (for lack of a better word). One of our goals as BSs is to disengage our lives from the X, and not worry so much about what they are experiencing. I think this is very similar to our relationships with other people as well. Our happiness does not depend on anyone else but ourselves.
Me: BH, 40
Her: Ms. Daisy
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, living together
Ds17, DS12, DD12
Apology. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Posts: 976 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 40115
| Posted: 3:21 PM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014|
Harriet, I completely understand this. Last week was my IL's 45th anniversary. I could hardly bare to look at the post. Especially since our 19th anniversary was Tuesday.
So I posted Carrie Underwood's "Undo It" as my song of the day.
"Better not give in to it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.”
― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Posts: 2453 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Member # 40306
| Posted: 8:23 PM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014|
Yeah. Happy couples are everywhere. I can't get away from them. It just makes me sad. I will never have a 50th wedding anniversary party. I will not be able to talk to my kids and grand kids about how to make a marriage last for a lifetime. I will not be able to just go to my kids' wedding and enjoy it because I will have to deal with WS being there.
I hope some day to be able to feel happy for someone in love again, instead of wondering how long it's going to be before their partner jerks the rug out from under them.
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.
Posts: 1839 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 39564
| Posted: 9:20 PM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014|
That's why I don't go on Facebook anymore!! Can't stand it anymore.
Me (BS) 40 Him (WH, SA, covert NPD) 41
Married 8 years, 2 young kids
DD1-Right after engagement 2004
DD2-Email from OW 2008
DD3-2012-Him diagnosed with cancer, I thought we grew closer, he kept cheating.
Posts: 135 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
|Topic Posts: 8|