I started my relationship with my husband in October 2009. I knew that he had a son from a previous marriage, he had access every other weekend and on holidays. I was told I had to meet the ex-wife (I felt like it was a test) as she wanted to make sure the person her child would have contact with was suitable. I thought this was ok but had to endure a whole evening at this woman's house.
On many occasions my SS (to be at that point) would tell us how unhappy he was and that he thought his mum was having an affair. In October 2011 this was confirmed as his step dad found evidence of infidelity and left her. At this point my SS made the decision to come and live with his dad and me.
I married in September 2012. In November 2012 I started noticing that my husband was being very careful with his phone. On a trip away I knew I had seen a woman's name when he was telling me it was a man.
In February 2013 on a holiday abroad he was constantly on his phone and he maintained it was a mutual (female) friend who was going through a tough time. I accepted this.
In March 2013 I made the decision to look at his phone. I found texts between him and his ex wife which were disgusting. On three separate occasions I have found this. I confronted him and he denied everything. He participated in it because he was scared of her. etc.
In January this year I found more texts and at this point I walked out. Unfortunately, my weakness is my SS. I can't bring myself to leave and my husband uses this. I can't be the one who ends another marriage my SS has been part of.
I was promised there would be no contact between my husband and his ex that I wasn't told about. Well I now have proof there has been. On his work phone in msg recipients is her name. All incoming and outgoing texts have been deleted. I have no doubt he has contact with her on his own phone too - but I can't access that.
I am totally at breaking point. I don't want to hurt my SS by leaving. I also don't think he should have to suffer having parents who seem to have no respect for anyone.