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Newest Member: SadDadOf3 (46038)

User Topic: It's over
CantSeeInTheDark
♀ 43231
Member # 43231
Default  Posted: 1:23 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't find any words


Me 35y
Him 48y
1 Awesome son 3y

DD1 May 2013
DD2 April 2014

Currently wondering how someone who vowed so much, can care so little


Posts: 110 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Gloucestershire
saveus
♂ 43251
Member # 43251
Default  Posted: 1:36 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As you posted in my thread only days ago, you too have been heard. Sending you strength (((CSITD)))


Me: BS/39
Her: WS/37
Together: 15 years
Married: 7 years
1 amazing little boy, 5, the love of our lives
D-Day 1: 14/4/2014 (EA/one night PA)
D-Day 2: 30/4/2014 (sexting/PA longer & ongoing)
D-Day 3: 4/5/2014 (earlier PA, another OM)

Posts: 260 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: UK
yearsofpain25
♂ 42012
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 5:39 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so very sorry CSITD. Does this mean you gave WH the D papers?

More importantly how are you doing? I know this entire process has been very hard on you. Know this, you are not alone CSITD. We are here for you. When you feel up to it let us know how you are doing. Worried about you. I will be thinking of you today.

Sending you strength and courage to get you through.

yop

[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 5:40 AM, June 5th (Thursday)]


"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

Posts: 2484 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
OakStreet
♀ 41193
Member # 41193
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((CSITD))

I'm thinking about you too!


Me: 58
Him: 65
Married: 21 years (well, we'll say 19 now!).
One son: 19, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
18 month EA/PA with COW
Dday #2: 4/16/14 - took it underground for 5 months.
Haven't decided on outcome.

Posts: 555 | Registered: Nov 2013
NeverAgain2013
♀ 38121
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Understood.

For what it's worth, I think you've made a very, very, very wise decision.

In time, you'll see that too.

Sending strength.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1956 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cant - I hope you have or are finding the light.

You are an amazing person, who deserves so much more in life.

We are here, (((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8898 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
1Faith
♀ 38975
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

Hold on to your son. Hold on to knowing that you deserve honesty and truth.

One step. One day at a time.

We are here for you.


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1337 | Registered: Apr 2013
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs))) Just keep breathing. You will get through this. You will be happy again. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5238 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
seethelight
♀ 43513
Member # 43513
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't find any words

Me neither, but I and likely all the other posters know how you feel.

Sending hugs your way.


ďIf two people truly have feelings for one another then they donít have an affair. They get a divorce and they sort out their feelings. You are accountable for the people you hold hostage in a marriage when your mind and heart refuse to fully commit

Posts: 1516 | Registered: May 2014
Raspberry
♀ 42853
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you too. I literally just hung up with a divorce attorney because I'm going to end it too. Never ever wanted this but I cant keep living this way.

In time, you and I will realize its for the best. Hugs


Posts: 223 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
krsplat
♀ 43242
Member # 43242
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((CSITD)) I have no words for you either, but I'm sending you strength and courage. We're here for you.


Me & WH: 48, married 22 years, 4 kids
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus multiple ONS
Status: Looks like it was a dealbreaker after all

Posts: 395 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Virginia
HonoringVows
♀ 41043
Member # 41043
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I always said it would be over too if anything like this happened. But I have held on for 4 years since finding out about his ONS with an "escort" (hooker, walking disease carrier, prostitute)...all the same in my book! We did find each other and love again, because I forgave. But then found out recently he called escorts again (he says just called them). I don't believe him. I want to...but can't and he won't give me access to the phone bill. I learned to live with him viewing porn, but it just evolved into perhaps wanting something more....like a gateway drug. Are your husband's incidents ONS or LTA? I think there is a difference... Good luck...have you tried counseling? I am not sure what I am going to do. Our youngest son just graduated last night...My incentive to hold our marriage together is not as strong now that our 3 kids are adults now. He says he wants to do counseling...we'll see where that leads us. I do believe in forgiveness...and I do believe in trying to work through the good, bad and ugly, but damn...one can only take so much! Hope you try all avenues before giving up on your marriage....I am trying to....


Me: 45
WH: 56
Married almost 21 years
3 adult children: 24, 19, 18
1st found out July 2010
Found phone calls and texts to/from escorts April 2014
Just Started Counseling

Posts: 21 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: California
CantSeeInTheDark
♀ 43231
Member # 43231
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't do this anymore.
I'm sorry.


Me 35y
Him 48y
1 Awesome son 3y

DD1 May 2013
DD2 April 2014

Currently wondering how someone who vowed so much, can care so little


Posts: 110 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Gloucestershire
betrayedpregnant
♀ 43304
Member # 43304
Default  Posted: 1:05 AM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs for you csitd

Posts: 309 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Hawaii
yearsofpain25
♂ 42012
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 4:44 AM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope you are alright CSITD. Sending you strength courage and peace.


"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

Posts: 2484 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
annb
♀ 22386
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 4:54 AM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CSITD, yes, you can do this. Yes, it is painful, yes you are devastated, but YES you do have a young child who needs you now more than ever.

You need to do the best you can to pull yourself together for the sake of your child. He does not deserve this and needs a stable parent who have his best interests at heart....

Lean on us, please lean on trusted family members or friends, I am not familiar with your story, but you WILL get through this!

Visit the divorce/separation forum and seek advice from members there. They have lived the same pain. They understand. They will guide you through this.

Don't give up, you have soooo much life left!

[This message edited by annb at 4:55 AM, June 12th (Thursday)]


Posts: 7666 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
saveus
♂ 43251
Member # 43251
Default  Posted: 6:30 AM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You CAN do this, I have faith in you!!

((((CSITD))))


Me: BS/39
Her: WS/37
Together: 15 years
Married: 7 years
1 amazing little boy, 5, the love of our lives
D-Day 1: 14/4/2014 (EA/one night PA)
D-Day 2: 30/4/2014 (sexting/PA longer & ongoing)
D-Day 3: 4/5/2014 (earlier PA, another OM)

Posts: 260 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: UK
shiftingsand
♀ 43656
Member # 43656
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You CAN DO THIS! It's ok to acknowledge that your soul has been rocked, you feel like every fiber of your being is screaming out no MORE! But, breath my dear, breath deeply, in and out, slowly, several times. Repeat. And say to yourself, I have brought life to this world. My child is my life bringer. I will not give up for my child."

If that doesn't work - I've always tried "Get your ass moving". Just get up. F WS, WS will not destroy me. WS is not worth it. F WS. until you find your anger to move again.

Do NOT GIVE UP! WE BELIEVE in YOU! WE know you did not deserve this! IT"S NOT YOU.... YOu have strength, you do... just breath, just for another minute, and then another...

just keep writting even it is.. I don't know what to say... just keep breath hun!


Posts: 155 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Maryland
Topic Posts: 18

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