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WH talking to women

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soconfusednow posted 6/5/2014 12:04 PM

A group of us were partially blocking a walkway when a woman, walking her dog, came around the corner almost running into us. She said “excuse me” and started to walk around.

My WH said “Don’t worry we are all dog lovers here”

The woman continued walking around us without responding. When she was almost past us, WH started asking questions about her dog, keeping the conversation with her going by asking more and more questions. Completely ignoring the people we were there to see in the first place. Never even noticing how uncomfortable I was becoming with the situation as he asked question after question.

I started wondering if he struck up a conversation that fast with me right there how far would he go if I wasn’t there?

Will I or should I ever be comfortable again with my WH talking to other women?

struggling3 posted 6/5/2014 12:16 PM

I would have been having a conversation with my H about this behavior. Once they betray you, they lose the right to talk innocently to other women. We now know that they can easily slide down the slippery slope. Until my H got that and showed better judgement, I would be having a discussion about this.

To answer your question about ever feeling comfortable when it comes to them talking to other women....I'm at 3 years out and I don't ever see that happening. He knows it and has adjusted accordingly (at least as far as I can tell).

tushnurse posted 6/5/2014 15:36 PM

You need to discuss this with your H. He has to be aware of his crappy boundaries, and the pain it causes.

In addition yes you can get comfortable with your H talking to women again, when they do it right. Put their arm around you. Introduce you. Include you.

MomtoRoses posted 6/5/2014 18:13 PM

My wh likes to "rescue" other women and then screw them too. So be careful. But mostly, it just seems really insensitive to be carrying on w/ other women when he KNOWS what he did to you and he wants to make it better.

Sigh, this is so hard.

Skan posted 6/6/2014 15:17 PM

I would probably not have had a problem with his first sentence. However, he actively tried to engage her, flirt with her, and pursue her. All of this in front of you. This screams to me, of piss-poor boundaries and disrespect for you. Yeah, you need to address it because if he'll pull that stuff in front of you, you know that he'll do it when you're not around.

HonoringVows posted 6/6/2014 18:20 PM

I can relate....how do you stop the conversation and pull him away from the OW without looking like the poor, desperate, insecure wife?

absolut posted 6/6/2014 18:31 PM

Well, if all the extra people hadn't been there and it were just them 2 it would have seemed like he were just trying to pick her up, probably engage her enough to get her phone number.

I'm only saying that to validate your discomfort.

Seriously. smh.

I can relate....how do you stop the conversation and pull him away from the OW without looking like the poor, desperate, insecure wife?

I never figured that out.

Will I or should I ever be comfortable again with my WH talking to other women?
I think there is an issue with a lack of respect. I mean you're standing right there! I doubt you'll ever be ok with it.

bionicgal posted 6/6/2014 18:32 PM

This is the biggest problem:

Never even noticing how uncomfortable I was becoming with the situation as he asked question after question.

He needs to tune in.

Scubachick posted 6/6/2014 19:02 PM

Is he usually that interested in dogs?

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