It's been 3 yrs. out for me, and I'm sure my circumstances are different than yours (together 8, engaged and living together 7 1/2, x at DD 3 yrs. ago, therefore abandoned and life changed suddenly). But I still have triggers around that have changed me and affected my daily life with people and surroundings, and how I'll navigate the rest of my life. People, my job, and past life experiences have all added to the effects.
Realizing the timeline of his behaviors and what you were experiencing and dealing with during the A, or after, at those times is rough. I had gotten weirdly sick that went on and on in such strange ways, I kept trying to figure out what and why I was going thru these symptoms (I'm a very detailed RN and bottom liner scientific problem solver).
So after I got more distance from the whole mess, the pieces of the puzzle started to make sense(?) and I got MAD. Xwf put my health at great risk, and put me thru hell during 2 yrs., and cost me alot of money and stress, made me very ill. That's why I figured the A started long before he said.
I don't get sad too much anymore, but I will allow myself to get mad, just to keep me on my toes. It reminds me just how to view other peoples' treatment of me in everyday life now too.
[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 11:06 AM, June 6th (Friday)]