In my situation, at 6 months to a year, the reality of it all came crashing down. The shock began to wear off, and I started realizing this is now my screwed up life. My peace was gone, I was able to internalize the true effect the A had on me and my family. For me, it was much easier the first few months, I think it was because I was traumatized and couldn't really accept the situation. It was like I was living in a dream, then the reality set in, and Boom!
It truly took me about four years to begin to feel safe again....WH TT me to death, so that probably has some bearing on my healing.
If you read the R forum, I think you will come to understand that generally, not for all, but for most year 2 is worse than year one.
Be patient as you can with your spouse, it will take him much longer than six months to feel what will be his new normal. Always be honest, the lies and TT can set you back to square one.
Everyone is different, I know of some who felt at about year 2 their lives were back on track, and others, like myself, who were on the 5-year plan.
We did have many good times the first couple of years, BUT like you mentioned, when things were good, they were good, and when I began to spiral into the abyss, it was hell for a very long time. It's the emotional roller coaster, it's truly a bumpy ride.