I heard this the other day and I've been kicking it around in my head. The original context was in regard to body, gender and societal images but it works in our slice of the world too.
You are a goddamned treasure, no matter what you think.
I don't think this is necessarily useful for a new wayward to apply to themselves. We have a lot of work to do. However, it can be a damned fine lens through which to view our betrayed spouses.
My wife is a goddamned treasure. Not only is she one of the smartest people I have ever known, she has worked amazingly hard to put an edge on it. Her moral compass is intact, even after all of the hell that I and others have put her through. Every day, she keeps offering me a new chance to keep working on the journey of being a better person.
I am humbly grateful for the opportunity to be with her and working on growth. Please, try look at your spouse like they are a treasure worthy of continual work. If s/he is giving you any kind of chance at all, it's true.