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NoGoodUsername (original poster member #40181) posted at 5:55 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
I heard this the other day and I've been kicking it around in my head. The original context was in regard to body, gender and societal images but it works in our slice of the world too.
You are a goddamned treasure, no matter what you think.
I don't think this is necessarily useful for a new wayward to apply to themselves. We have a lot of work to do. However, it can be a damned fine lens through which to view our betrayed spouses.
My wife is a goddamned treasure. Not only is she one of the smartest people I have ever known, she has worked amazingly hard to put an edge on it. Her moral compass is intact, even after all of the hell that I and others have put her through. Every day, she keeps offering me a new chance to keep working on the journey of being a better person.
I am humbly grateful for the opportunity to be with her and working on growth. Please, try look at your spouse like they are a treasure worthy of continual work. If s/he is giving you any kind of chance at all, it's true.
Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."
HerrTrubheit ( new member #43627) posted at 6:07 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
This x a Bajillion
I have never felt so humbled by and in awe of a human being as I have of my wife since DDay.
I told her last week, partially in self-pity but also quite honestly, that I didn't deserve her. Her response was "but you will."
My response was wordless and vocal and emotionally quite embarrassing for yer typical American male. You get the picture. Faced with that kind of love and strength and loyalty, I can't possibly let her down again. I'd rather be dead.
Since that's not an option - the coward's way out would only cause more pain to those who've been hurt - I have to do the hard work and live again. I will be deserving of this treasure that live has given me.
Coz it don't bleed, and it don't breathe
It's locked it's jaws and now it's swallowing
It's in our hearts, and in our heads
It's in our love, baby, it's in our bed.
ThatGuyNoMore ( member #42899) posted at 6:38 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
Thank you for this post, NGU.
Many times I've told my BS she is the kindest, most considerate person I know. These are qualities that I sorely lack, so I especially value them in her. It is precisely these qualities in her that make "us" possible under these circumstances. She is a truly amazing woman.
I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to be with her while we try to heal and grow together.
Me and BW both 50
Married 24 years, 4 kids
D-Day 3/5/14
14 years of infidelity including multiple ONS and a 6½ yr LTA
I lied to everyone including myself.
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