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t/j bad sex partner, warning: graphic

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Helen of Troy posted 6/6/2014 15:39 PM

T/J from the other thread.
Have you ever heard of the reverse problem? a guy (who does not take Viagra, or any meds etc.) who gets very aroused, fully erect but cannot ejaculate during intercourse or by oral? only by own hand manually. Hasn't had many sexual partners, so not mr smooth type acting but most likely looked at porn/masturbated while single.

miadianna posted 6/6/2014 15:40 PM

Yes. If you want to discuss you can PM me, because I'm not sure who is reading my posts on here now.

I've read it's common with men with sexual addiction problems, guilt, or who masturbate so much that they can't ejaculate with a woman.

[This message edited by miadianna at 3:43 PM, June 6th (Friday)]

angerisme posted 6/6/2014 15:52 PM

Yes there is such a problem.

wildbananas posted 6/6/2014 18:42 PM

Yes... this was XSO at times. I can't say for sure what his issue was but he was pretty into porn. I have a feeling that had a lot to do with it.

carnelian posted 6/6/2014 18:45 PM

I've read it's common with men with sexual addiction problems, guilt, or who masturbate so much that they can't ejaculate with a woman.

Totally this.

hurtbs posted 6/6/2014 19:24 PM

Yes, it's called delayed ejaculation. It can be a result of people who are SA, but it is also just a common form of sexual dysfunction. It can be very frustrating. The best way to handle it is to figure out what works - perhaps having him manually stimulate himself until he is "there" and then incorporating you into it.

SoHappyNow posted 6/6/2014 19:35 PM

Sometimes, a big dose of patience will go a long way. I learned our first night together about his ED.....he had been on the bus for 11 years. He really wants to penetrate me and we tried about everything - up to and including shots into his penis. Only a few times have we had intercourse. Howsome-evah....he really wants to give me pleasure and has figured out several ways to accomplish that, as have I with him. We are both happy and compatible in bed. Give it a little time.

notmeanymore posted 6/7/2014 08:22 AM

My last BF had this issue. I'd never heard of it before until him. It could be frustrating at times since I could never "succeed" but I have a difficult time orgasming too (at least from a partner alone) so I think I could be more sympathetic to the issue

9.10.11 posted 6/7/2014 09:55 AM

BTDT. Many different things could be the problem.
I take an ED drug to get me like I was in HS, without it I'm "up" but not "UP!".

My situation is two problems. I don't want more kids and that REALLY plays on my mind during sex. I need to get cut asap. My other problem is opposite of yours, my SO is a "one and done" and she finishes early.
Might also be that it has been nearly 20 yrs since I had been with anyone but my wife. At first it felt like I was cheating.

Could also be that I drink beer, not to the point of "whiskey dick"...but I'm sure it has limited me.

Who says he has to finish? I know I don't complain, I may try to get her to keep going but I'm not going to force it. I'm happy just being with her.

I'm also one that doesn't "go it alone". I am in my 40's and can see a drop in sex drive. Not to the point that I'd ever turn it down though. lol.

Long story short, it's mental and could be many things.

Just a guys POV.

doggiediva posted 6/7/2014 10:25 AM

9.10.11
I like your point of view in your post..I admire people who have realistic expectations and are grateful for what they have..

During the latter years of my marriage(we are separated now) my WH had delayed ejaculation..

Sex with him has killed me for having sex with anybody else for the rest of my life, lol..He was very very needy and had a self entitled attitude as big as Texas..

Sex wasn't over until he had finished and finished with fireworks...If I didn't have any more energy in me to keep going and he wasn't finished, my life was made unpleasant by his pouting, shitty attitude for the rest of the day, for several days.. It was his attitude that pushed me away, not his problem..I was deemed sexually inadequate, frigid by WH because I couldn't bounce off of the chandeliers or last all day and night..

Nobody is perfect, lol...With GOOD attitudes of both partners there can be a creativity that makes sex physically and emotionally pleasurable for both..

[This message edited by doggiediva at 10:36 AM, June 7th (Saturday)]

Pass posted 6/8/2014 07:54 AM

Anti-depressants can also cause this problem, so it happened for a while when I was with The Princess. I was always "there for her" first, and then would "help myself out" while she kissed me and/or paid attention to the rest of my body, so she was still very involved in the process. We both enjoyed this.

I swear, I sometimes can't believe the things I reveal on here.

SoHappyNow posted 6/8/2014 13:06 PM


Pass, I know what you mean! I share WAY TMI, myself!

dontknowwhyme posted 6/9/2014 14:07 PM

Does he drink?

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