Tomorrow he's picking up his things here and I asked him if he's ready to tell me where he's living and moving his things to. He ignored the email but answered my financial email. Of course he received it.
I can't believe how such a professional man can be so deadbeat. Of course I know he's living with OW otherwise he'd tell me. As if it all won't come out?
Anyway, should this have any affect on visitation? He obviously has no interest in more time with the kids sadly. I don't want to deprived kids of him but he just picks them up and I don't know where they are going until return. That bothers me.
I don't think it would be a reason to deny visitation unless you could show an effect (negative) on the kids that would outweigh his parental rights.
If you really need to know his address, (why?), you can likely use formal discovery in the lawsuit- interrogatories or a deposition. It would cost.
Good luck with that. I know you are going through hell, and it isn't your fault.
BH (Me) 49
D-Day Mar 19, 2014
1 year passionate EA/PA, ended by me on d-day.
Attempting to R
I just think a responsible father would let his soon to be ex wife know where he's living. Also, my kids over all are doing ok but it's been very hard on them not knowing where daddy lays his head every night (I can only imagine!!). They have worry that's not needed. I've been able to answer all their questions except that one. I just say daddy is still looking and stays at different places by his work. WTF else can I say? Totally irresponsible on his part. They have a great child therapist and I'm in IC.
I tell every man I know if they ever plan on leaving their families to please have a plan of where you'll be and let your children know.
What you CAN do is insist that you must have the address and land line IF he is keeping them overnight. You should never allow your children to go anywhere, including with your X, if you do not know where they are and how to reach them in case of emergency.
If he is only taking visitation for a few hours then let them go as long as you have his cell phone number.
Now what is important is that you document, document, document. Get a calendar or a notebook or a word doc and document every communication and interaction he has with the kids. Document the good along with the bad. Document EVERYTHING, that way the court (and he) cannot claim that you were biased in your record keeping. Try to communicate only via email or text so you have a written record of everything that was said. If you ever do talk to him over the phone or in person, follow up with an email summarizing what was discussed.
Finally, you need to let go of control over what he is doing. You cannot control him. And the court believes that what he does during visitation is no concern of yours as long as the kids are safe. It sucks, but you need to embrace it.
Good luck and (((hugs)))
I don't see how you can keep them from him, but you should do everything in your power to have a written agreement about handing off and returning the kids.
I do have to let go of control when he's with them and I don't have concern for their safety. Although anyone that walks out on their family with no communication isn't obviously in their right mind IMO, unfortunately, not in the courts opinion. It just sucks. My L knows there's no address and let this happen, not sure legally I could've stopped it. I offered these hours and he took them. I did it for my children. They miss him terribly and were always wondering when he'd see them next. He refused to commit to a schedule so my L had to do it for him.
Thanks for the help everyone.
Beyond that he is welcome to take them to McDonald's or visit with them at a local park/family home/ shopping centre,