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Ambergray posted 6/6/2014 23:51 PM

Has anyone checked this on their spouse? I did and found searches for OW once, ex gfs, co workers (women), and sex searches.

How should I proceed? They are searches, not contact, but still...

Jls0320 posted 6/7/2014 00:03 AM

I have looked, luckily I haven't found anything but if I do than crap will hit the fan. I'm sorry :(

FixYou71 posted 6/7/2014 02:43 AM

I'm sorry you had to find this hurtful information. I don't know your story but have you given him your requirements and list of dealbreakers? In other words, does he know that these behaviors (breaking no contact mentally with opposite sex etc) are unacceptable and will not be tolerated? Are there consequences laid out for him if he does cross these boundaries?
These are obviously red flags and completely prohibitive of true reconciliation If that is the goal. Since you are posting in general I'm not sure of the dynamics of your situation.

Ostrich80 posted 6/7/2014 04:13 AM

I didn't know there was a search log. How do do it?
So do you think he's just peeking into diff profiles but not chatting?
I can see someone looking out of curiosity at someone they know but those other searches may be a step away from contact.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 4:16 AM, June 7th (Saturday)]

Ambergray posted 6/7/2014 06:19 AM

After sleeping on it, now I am more confused because I know I have used his fb to do searches on some of these women. Not the sex searches though.

rachelc posted 6/7/2014 07:35 AM

I did and found searches for OW once,

this would be a breech in NC for me. She's still in his head. I don';t want to be with him if he's thinking of her.
Is this a dealbreaker for you?

jendo posted 6/7/2014 08:44 AM

I keep an eye on this, but do know that they can delete searches if they want.

I did find where my WH searched ow, but it was just one week post dday. I confronted him and told him that nope, it's not ok and as far as I can tell he hasn't done it again.

OutoftheDeep posted 6/7/2014 10:14 AM

I didn't know there was a search log. How do do it?

Log into fb
On the main page (not the newsfeed) near the main cover photo is a box that says "View Activity Log". Click it.
Now make sure and check the little box at the top of this that says "Include Only Me Activity"
It will show all searches, likes, statuses, etc.

OutoftheDeep posted 6/7/2014 10:15 AM

Also, everyone don't forget to check the "Other" section under Messages. This is a big theme in my latest thread and situation.

hopefulmother posted 6/7/2014 11:04 AM

The easiest thing would be to just block the OW's profile. Check to see if it remains blocked. After it gets unblocked, it can't be blocked again for I think 72hrs. Then you would have really caught him.

Amazonia posted 6/7/2014 11:11 AM

it can't be blocked again for I think 72hrs

48 actually.

and it's possible to remove content from the activity feed, so it's not fool proof if they're aware you're watching (or paranoid).

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