I don't know why I started this - and, dude, I know it sounds crazy - but each night, as I'm closing the curtains on my balcony before bed, I say good night to my city. Then as I gaze out at the lights, I take a minute to tell it about the things that happened that day that I'm grateful for. It can be big things like landing a new project, or little things like smiling at someone in the elevator (I know that sounds kind of lame, but it brings me joy).
Then I smile at my city, and tell it I love it.
In the morning, I say good morning, and tell it about the things I'm looking forward to doing that day.
It makes me feel like I have someone I love to talk to (and I DO love my city). Unfortunately, I have no suggestions for cuddle replacements. I would love to hear if someone else has something.
Finally divorced Jul/17
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!
Unfortunately, I have no suggestions for cuddle replacements. I would love to hear if someone else has something.
Get a dog. :)
[This message edited by Angeles85 at 11:13 PM, June 7th (Saturday)]
I'm a little over a year out from DDay and I'm just hitting the phase you're describing now (loneliness and some anxiety about being loved again) in some ways-- so I think you're way ahead of schedule and very strong.
I try to surround myself with family, friends and projects as much as possible-- but a lot of that is just to distract me. I sometimes remember what it was like to hold my X and just be quiet and happy on the couch or whatnot and it's a killer. I can't imagine having that again for some reason.
My solution is to allow myself to feel these emotions and accept them. I continue to hope for the best in the future, but I'm also allowing myself to accept that it may be a long time (I hope not never) before I have that with someone again. When it's really bad, I rent a movie and try to clear my head.
I also want to remember how this feels for the future to make sure I don't take any future partners for granted. I always thought my X would be in my life, so I never really cherished those evenings when I was just holding him as we went to sleep. I remember after walking out on DDay thinking to myself that I would never hold him again and it just ripped my heart out. You never know how much time you're going to have with someone...
So I hope this experience helps me be more genuine and loving in the future.
... and I also have a dog. :)
Thank u Pass for sharing this, it really makes me feel better..and not alone. Sometimes I talk to my car (i know it's crazy) but I have had the same car for 7 years and even tough is really old I want to keep it, I see it as an old friend who has see me cry and laugh all these years.
Please tell me how talking to your car is crazier than me talking to the city lights. Seriously, dude, you can't beat me when it comes to crazy. Don't even try!
unfortunately I cannot have a dog where I live
And I'm allergic to all the little beasties. Don't have time to take care of one anyhow, now that I'm out playing music three nights a week.