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The trip went well (we got back a few days ago). I'll post more about it later because I'm still kind of exhausted (not necessarily from the trip).

Exhaustion.. I think all the stress is catching up with me. I didn't have the energy to do cardio the past couple days and I think I think adding up last night to napping today I slept 12 hours, in between feeling depressed and feeling like isolating myself.

My therapist says from my description it does sound like it's stress and lots of recent changes catching up with me.. it's the same kind of tiredness I get when I'm actually sick, or I've done a really really tough weight workout.

So... yeah, not really looking for advice, per se, just talking about how I'm feeling. I'm trying to accept that it's OK to be like this for now and just to take care of myself as best I can when the tiredness hits.

Although I guess advice about taking care of myself never hurts.. like it was suggested to me that I make meditation a priority (I was doing it regularly for a while, but stopped). And I am trying very very hard to do as much of the standard sleep hygiene stuff as possible.

Oh, and I finished my standard EMDR targets for the time being.. yay. Until/unless I come up with more super traumatic stuff, I will be using the sessions to work on 'lighter' stuff--dealing with fears, self-improvement, etc.. the therapist has some ideas.

I will say that going on the trip pretty much blew away some pretty stupid yet real travel fears I had accumulated in the past three or so years, which is great.

Sometimes growth takes giant leaps and bounds. Other times. It takes baby steps to running full steam ahead. Even goes in reverse, spins in the same spot. Or any other way to move.

Sometimes we need to stop, stay, catch our breath and rebalance ourselves. Sounds like you recognize that this is your time to rebalance yourself after all the changes.

Good for you!

K

I'm a low energy person, and I'm all INTJ super competitive (always give my best, always accepting work challenges etc.) with the end result that I reach the brink of exhaustion a lot and over things that most people don't deem as tiring.

A 3 day weekend trip? I'll need a week of getting 10 hours of sleep a night to recover. A big work challenge? I'll need several weeks of not getting much done to recover.

It means I tend to not be very spontaneous about things because I'm always trying to manage it so I don't get exhausted. But when I do, it's a weekend like this one where I deliberately am alone, in my PJs all day, puttering around the house, watching TV and so on.

This is all still just you learning who you are and embracing it and doing what you need to do to practice self care - all good things!

I will say that going on the trip pretty much blew away some pretty stupid yet real travel fears I had accumulated in the past three or so years, which is great.

Don't underestimate how exhausting that can be too. Fear takes a toll.

It's good to know that having to rest a lot isn't the end of the world. Really it's all I can do sometimes, so... so be it.