It's been about 2 and 1/2 months since my wife discovered my infidelity and betrayal.
We have two children together. A 3 year old and an 8 month old. My wife is obviously in a great deal of turmoil and pain right now. She is struggling with loving me and hating me at the same time.
Things have gone back and forth on weather she wants to R or not. From what I have read, this is normal, and I'm just going with whatever she wants at the time, but it's very difficult to know what action is best. For example: if she gets angry with me and tells me to leave and that she never wants to see me again, and I do what she says, she may get upset with me later for leaving...even though she told me to.
I understand why this happens, and I can only imagine what she is feeling, but I often wonder what the best action is to take. I want to help/allow her to heal however she needs to, but I don't know weather I should be strong and stick around even though she tells me to leave, or if giving her space is better. She doesn't know the answer to this either.
I know being gentle and putting her feelings before mine is crucial to her healing, and I am doing that the best I know how, but is it more important to give her space? Or to stay around and be present? If I give her too much space, won't she think I don't care? If I stay around too much won't she feel pressured and suffocated?
I want to show her I am committed to R, but I also want her to be able to heal.
Any advice is appreciated.