HI Acer. I"m sorry your weekend is sucking. Just wanted you to know you've been heard. seems like these setbacks occur in bunches, huh? People always say things like, "the Lord will only give you what you can handle." but holy crap! sometimes it feels like you're really being tested. it seems really unfair. i've been on that tipping point many times.
Much like your situation, STBXWW has done absolutely nothing to help me emotionally and nothing to get our divorce moving. she just packed the things she wanted to take and left me with 20 years of crap and all of the kids' things. So, it's up to me to do EVERYTHING. De-clutter the house, and take care of all of the repairs to get it ready to sell.
But you know what? it was that way in my old life too. Before i knew anything about the A, I did pretty much everything, kid related, pet related, house related, inside and out. Sounds like your situation too. You are the reliable one. the one that takes care of EVERYTHING. So, when you think you need help from him, you have to ask yourself if you really got it from him anyway. am i right?
I read a post you wrote in response to another BS recently. i remember you had written something about you wanting him to feel bad of guilty or something. i know exactly what you mean! i want STBX to feel that way too. i even reached out to her the other day, in hopes she would at least acknowledge my value and how much she hurt me.
Her response was basically the same. She could give a shit less. She doesn't want to admit she's responsible for really fucking up a lot of people. She has no empathy at all. She was screwing a married man who had two small boys. his wife was a SAHM. STBX cared not not one bit how this might affect me, our kids, OM's BW, and their kids. only cared about herself.
so, please don't waste your energy hoping to see him feel guilty or bad. he most likely won't. he's just glad you are there to take care of your dd and the dog so he can have his fun. and so long as you spend your energy on him, you will remain stuck. (i know from experience)
I stole this from Shrink4men. but i use it to ground myself:
She won’t change.
You can’t make her better.
She doesn’t love you.
Things really were that bad.
You can’t be friends with her.
She’ll keep abusing you for as long as you let her.
She isn’t going to move on to a new man and suddenly be great and normal. She’ll continue to be the same miserable woman she was when she was with you, no matter how much she rubs your nose in how “terrific” her life is without you. THIS IS A LIE.
A few wonderful moments don’t make up for how abusive she is the majority of the time.
You deserve better.
You had a life before her; you’ll have a much happier life without her.
So, hang in there. be the rock for your family. they need you.
Also, my dog ate my son's chocolate birthday cake (an entire half sheet cake), while we were eating dinner. didn't kill her or really even make her sick. also ate a box of KFC, bones and all (even some of the box), still not dead. hope your dog will be ok. most likely the rubber pieces will pass just fine.