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Npd ex and my parents

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lknup posted 6/8/2014 12:52 PM

My parents can't stand the STBX for obvious reasons. However, they are careful to not say anything negative in front of the kids. The problem is when they need to see each other for kid exchanges or an event. Ex expects them to greet him and says they are harming my kids when they don't.
My parents were just here for a visit and STBX is livid at how they treated him, "not for himself, but for the kids." They did not say anything unkind, but ex says it was what they didn't say and the looks they gave. My kids probably have picked up on the fact my parents do not want to see him.
How do other's handle this? I can't stop them from crossing paths altogether. The divorce is heating up and is a reason to keep the peace.

devistatedmom posted 6/8/2014 13:11 PM

Let him be furious. That's his problem. You cannot force others to talk to him.

When mine whined about how much it hurt him that my dad now shunned him, I told him straight up, that's a consequence of of his actions. I said, did you really expect to hurt his daughter and grandkids, and still have things be the same between you? Maybe you should have thought about that before you had the A.

Honestly, I know you want to keep things "good" during the divorce proceedings, but you can't control how he feels, or how your parents feel. He should consider himself lucky that they don't cuss him out every time he's around!

Your answer: I'm sorry you feel that way. Don't try and justify anything to him.

Oftencheatedon posted 6/8/2014 13:31 PM

Tell him that you do not control your parents' actions.

Just like you could not control his actions that involved cheating.

lknup posted 6/8/2014 15:31 PM

I am afraid of him in the sense that he is determined to leave me financially ruined, and I am afraid he will turn my kids as well and take them for more time than he is now. When we were married he hardly cared for them at all, but making sure they think he is wonderful is now part of his ego boost. He is a charismatic type and has a circle of friends who seem to think that what he and OW have done is justified (she was married also).

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