SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

thebighurt posted 6/8/2014 13:14 PM

Someone who has known us both many years got in line behind me at the supermarket and started a convo. Asked how I was doing. (Fair enough - could know about D.) I said I am great, how are you? Did you retire yet, I asked? Yes (right after DDay) and traveling was the reply.

Then, "Where have you guys been traveling to?". Aha! So word of D hadn't gotten to them yet! I replied with where I had been and they must not have heard we were D. A gasp and, "I'm soo sorry! ". I said that I'm NOT. Not after learning what xpos had been doing. I told how he had blindsided me with filing and admitting to 2 As, in 2 months, then expanding it, then TTing of up to a year, then hearing from others of two years, then more like 4 or 5. And trolling CL for sex, internet porn dating sites, etc.

At each revellation, there was an audible gasp and, "I'm sooo sorry". I was talking low, but people were looking because of the gasps. It was only several minutes, but now they know. And this is someone who knows many of the same people that know both me and xpos from a number of different aspects; school, jobs, neighbors, acquaintances, kids, etc. And has a spouse who seems to be all over the place and LOVES to gossip!! I remembered that part as I left the store and had a little chuckle to myself at the mental image of the word quickly spreading.

Note to xpos: If you don't want to be the subject of gossip and REALLY don't want people to know the truth about what you've done, don't do anything they can gossip about!! It's not MY secret to keep!

Chippednotbroken posted 6/8/2014 15:08 PM

Yeah I have had to spill to some. People keep asking the secret to my weight loss, they never expect to hear "divorce".

dmari posted 6/8/2014 15:14 PM

Love it!! I think this encounter was a blessing in disguise!!

Pass posted 6/8/2014 16:56 PM

It's just so therapeutic, isn't it? I play at an open stage every Monday night, and regale them with stories - as well as songs I've written - about The Princess and her adventures. Now whenever I get onstage, and say, "So I wrote a new song", they're all on the edge of their seats.

The lesson to learn: You should really be careful about pissing off a songwriter.

Sad in AZ posted 6/8/2014 17:06 PM

Once I knew that D was the only option, I let everyone know what was going on. Once the D was final, I notified family and close friends in person, via phone and by email, then posted on FB: "I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend." It was the truth...

thebighurt posted 6/8/2014 18:17 PM

@Chippednotbroken, people I saw immediately after DDay assumed my weight loss came from that, but actually I had lost enough from a special diet for a medical reason that it was showing up then. I continued to lose because I could then eat as I wanted, no longer cooking the way xpos wanted.

Thanks, Dmari, I'm hoping it is, but ever fearful that xpos will use ANYTHING for a reason to sue me again, even if it is because I told the truth to someone.

Pass, I love it!! Your fans are eager to hear more about your life in song. I want to come to a performance sometime, but I will be careful to stay on your "good side"!!

Sad, I've told anyone who asks - and some who didn't! If I had posted something like that on FB, it would have been plural and I would have needed to include that I didn't like his "acquaintances", because some he had just met from ads and not a gf, just an available and willing sex partner.

sparkysable posted 6/8/2014 18:47 PM

I'm proud of you!

I made sure I dropped a few well placed comments with some well known gossips. I'm sure they had a field day with it.

thebighurt posted 6/8/2014 19:23 PM

Sparkysable, if I had thought of it while we were talking instead of after walking away, maybe I would have added some other juicy tidbits meant specifically for repeating!! After all, when you have soooo much to work with, without having to make anything up or add anything from your imagination...

You go, girl. I KNOW you won't mince words or waste a good opportunity! (Me neither!)