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Newest Member: 20yearsplus (61840)

User Topic: One month update
♀ 10552
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tomorrow is the one month anniversary of our big move to another state! It feels like we've been here so much longer than that.

The bunch and I are all settling in our new home. The younger two bananas got to go to school for a whole week and a half because school here ended weeks before it did in our old town. Baby banana (11) absolutely adores her new school and already has made friends. She also loves the area. Middle banana (almost 15) is having a harder time but she's much better now than when we got here. Oldest girl banana (18) is looking for a job. She's a bit out of sorts with starting over (she's already out of high school) but is handling it pretty well.

I'm also finding my feet. Starting over at 46 is a lot harder than I thought it would be! Learning my new job (project management) is going to take a while... very long learning curve. I alternate between feeling confident and being scared out of my mind and missing my comfy bubble at my last job, one I knew inside out.

It's also been hard without my friends around here. I knew people here before we moved but not like my existing friendships, ones that took years to build. I know it'll all come - it just takes (all together now!) time.

Lastly, of course, my LDR is no longer LD... it's just an R. That took a bit of adapting. I was used to seeing him every four weeks or so (on average) and now, I literally see him every day and surprise... I actually like it. And so does he. We've both been very mindful of boundaries and so far, so good. Our kids cross paths a bit here and there (and all get along just fine) but we aren't playing happy families or anything like that. Neither of us want to go down that path for a while... if ever.

I'm also being very careful of not leaning on him too much or not making his life mine, you know? I know I need friends and activities of my own and I'm working on that, slowly but surely.

All in all, it's been hard and scary and sad... but it's also brought a lot of good. I know in my toes it was the right thing to do for me and the bunch and I don't regret it, even on the bad days.

Thanks for all the encouragement you guys gave me when I was thinking about this... and then when I was making it happen. We'll get there, one step at a time.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 16077 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
♀ 36445
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad it's all working out for you all. In time I am sure it will feel like you were never anywhere else.

Best of luck in your NB in new town.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

Posts: 1530 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:24 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Any change is scary; it's exponentially so when you have kids to worry about. I also understand about friends. I'm not good about making new friends, but you seem to have the personality for it.

I'm happy for you I hope you continue to grow and thrive in your new environment.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
little turtle
♀ 15584
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. A month already?!? That was fast. I'm glad to hear such a positive update!! Do the girls have any summer plans? Day activities or anything while you're at work? It sounds like things can't get any better than they are!

Failure is success if we learn from it.

3 boys: 11, 9, and 1.

Posts: 4799 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Woot! You're totally getting it done, girl!

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 9177 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wonderful story about your new beginning Nanner! (and reading and thinking your topic title I was struck by what a difference this kind of "one month update" was from the kind we all posted in the way way back times when recovering from the shock. It's good to take a moment to realize just how far we have come!)

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:54

Posts: 4137 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are doing it! Change is not easy, but your positive outlook will make everything ok! :)

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

Posts: 3870 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

great update. Glad things are going so well.

Posts: 54405 | Registered: Jun 2007
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so glad to hear that you and the Nana bunch are doing well.

Me - 45
DD(24), DS(21, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

Posts: 9972 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here and There
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 20722 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is awesome.

Can you do some volunteer work somewhere? PTA? That is how I try to keep my "friend options open" so I meet new people.

me...BS, 46 years old.

Posts: 4738 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
♀ 18334
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are doing great!!! Congrats!!!

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

Posts: 4939 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 12

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