It does suck, doesn't it?
I remember after dday but before we decided to R we went to dinner and sat and ate in silence.
It was so painful, the air so heavy. The obvious disconnect stabbing us both through the night.
We had to work on it to reconnect. We started to do nights/dates together one or both of us had interest in. We began talking about our healing, how we got to where we were. How he got there.
We would talk about our marriage. The good things, the painful things we did to hurt each other and failed to see the pain it caused.
We slowly became invested again. Interested in each others days, actually listening to each other talk rather than checking out and reliving our own day in our minds.
We had to make an effort to engage, over and over again until it became second nature.
It can be done, it's work, but the work was worth not sitting "alone" at dinner anymore.