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Newest Member: scorchedearth (60708)

User Topic: our baby, our new beginning
♀ 43465
Member # 43465
Default  Posted: 4:27 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey I just thought I'd share some happy news. 8 weeks from d day and things are going ok.
I gave birth to our beautiful son 2 weeks ago.
My wh is being a fantastic father, I was scared he wouldn't bond as has lots of issues.
I needn't have worried he's an amazing daddy he sites on our son.
As for me well he's being a great husband too, he's loving kind and patient. My emotions have resurfaced I get quite angry and tearful he holds me and tells me how sorry he is.I actually believe him too.

I can see pain in his eyes when I cry.he sits and holds his head in his hands and says he's so sorry he hurt me and us.

Im so in love with him still it scares me sometimes.I do genuinely believe hed do anything to make me trust him again. I hope in time I will


Posts: 79 | Registered: May 2014
♀ 41245
Member # 41245
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to hear about your good feelings. Maybe now he will get a sense of what really matters in life

Married 10 years, together for 15
Me: BS Him: chronic boundary issues, EA for 2 years, DD Spring 2013

Posts: 296 | Registered: Nov 2013
♀ 38384
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

double post

[This message edited by LA44 at 6:53 AM, June 10th (Tuesday)]

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 3439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
♀ 38384
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations on your little boy, littlemiss! It must be so difficult to have such extreme feelings - joy of your child and anguish from A. No doubt you can laugh one moment and weep the next. Your hormones are all over the map too.

For now your focus needs to be on you and your child. Take good care of yourself. Is your H in IC? Is he reading? While you tend to your needs and baby's, he can look into figuring out his issues so that he can truly work into becoming the man you and your child need.

We lost our way after our second son was born. Hopefully, with the birth of your son, lots of talks and good support, you two find a well-lit path.

Take care!

[This message edited by LA44 at 6:52 AM, June 10th (Tuesday)]

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 3439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
♀ 43334
Member # 43334
Default  Posted: 7:10 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats on the birth of your son! I'm sure you will go through a whole range of emotions due to the fact you are still in the early stages plus you have the post partum hormones to deal with. I'm glad your husband is helping you through this and being a great dad too. Are you in any kind of counseling?

Me: BW(46)
Him: WH (46)
D-Day #1 March 2002- 1 year EA then 4 month PA with co worker
D-Day #2 March 2012 - EA with different co-worker

It's funny how sometimes the people you'd take a bullet for,are the ones behind the trigger.

Posts: 60 | Registered: May 2014 | From: New England
♀ 43465
Member # 43465
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wh is indeed in counselling. Having finally admitted to having troubles with anxiety and depression.
Which has been obvious to me for years, first leap for him he realised he had problems that need to be dealt with.
It's no excuse for what he did but he became a very different man,cold distant stranger.

Before this he was loyal loving kind and worshipped the ground I walked on.
He's still in there and parts of it are shining through now.

Complete transparency, open honest talks,always calls and texts throughout day.
Says sorry daily, for the bad things he has done .he tells me where he is n who with,if he sees in my eyes that I'm doubting he gets my coat so I can go with him,all these things help me. He had n/c since day he told me.altho it wasn't much contact in run up to confession,he was very ill (guilt I imagine) finally realised that what he was doing was making him more ill. For him the weight lifted the day he told me for me it loaded me down with a burden to carry,but daily I feel it getting lighter.

I never thought my husband would do what he did, but its happened and I can't change it.
I do get tearful daily but he's patient and kind,and says I haven't left him so that's hope enough for him that one day ill forgive.

I do believe together we can get through it .maybe it had to take something very bad to happen to make him realise his problems and get help and make us see what matters in life and not to take it for granted again!

Posts: 79 | Registered: May 2014
♀ 41741
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations !! Babies somehow just make everything worthwhile.

Me FBS around 40
Him FWS early 40s (lovemywife4ever)
He cheated before M, forgot to tell me
"Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last" - MLK Jr

Posts: 2175 | Registered: Dec 2013
♀ 43595
Member # 43595
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations! The unconditional love you have for your newborn son and the feeling of "being in love" with your husband will give you super-power strength to get through this chaotic journey.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: USA
♀ 44154
Member # 44154
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I am happy to hear that things are moving forward positively for you. I just read your bio, and I feel like our husbands stories are very similar. My WH has been diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder for a little over a year now. His A was from Jan-April with a woman he met on Ashley Madison. He went on the site to become someone different. We have had money issues, he is still struggling to get his BA (he has been in school on and off for 10 years), I make more money than him, his family always points out his failures, etc. He originally wanted to chat with women so that he could feel like he was someone else. His A was with a woman that was having struggles of her own (special needs child, WH of her own) and they also did not just have sex, they would get coffee and talk. From what he and she have confirmed, he never spoke about the stresses of his real life, and never spoke badly about me. I suppose that provides some comfort. When I was contacted by his A partners husband, my world shattered and it took 2 weeks before my WH admitted sex. He says it was only once, that over the 2 month affair they talked online only for about a month, then met a handful of times. I am starting to believe him, her story matches, but like you I can't fully understand why he didn't feel like he could turn to me when he was struggling and I didn't realize how much he thought of himself as a failure in life. He said to me that he didn't think he was good enough for me, and since he already didn't deserve me, each time their A progressed to something more, he just thought he was proving to himself how much he didn't deserve me. He even said to me, when I told him I want to reconcile, that he was surprised and it made him feel even worse that he had hurt me so badly and I was still a strong woman and loved him so much I was by his side. My DDAY was just this past Friday, so I am glad to see someone who is going through a similar situation as myself and see you moving forward. Congrats on the baby! I hope he brings much joy. We are holding off on kids until WH finishes school, and we repair the damage done to our marriage. Hugs to you, please keep in touch and I will be following your inspiring story.

PS You are a very strong woman to be enduring what you are and raising a little boy. I am glad your WH is a strong male for your son so far and I hope he continues.

Me: BW, 29
Him: fWH, 28
DDAY 7/4/14 TT till 7/18/14

"Reconciliation means working together to correct the legacy of past injustice." - Nelson Mandela

Posts: 413 | Registered: Jul 2014
Topic Posts: 9

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