Many years ago I made what was in retrospect one of many stupid decisions and scheduled our elopement wedding on WH's birthday.
Loudly claiming to just not be a birthday person, he made no objections at the time. Of course during his A he sniped about my stealing his day or something like that....
In reaction I'd downplay the whole anniversary aspect of it, making a big deal about taking WH out for birthday dinners. In fact last year I planned and paid for an entire weekend out of town culminating in a $350+ steakhouse dinner.
Now I know that for the past three birthdays he'd managed to get a fancy birthday dinner from OW as well. Oh, and every year "a coworker" brought him birthday cupcakes. He even brought a couple home last year!
I was in competition the whole time and I didn't even know it. Trigger city.
But I can't seem to let his birthday go unacknowledged. I didn't break the bank or make a huge effort on his gift, but I picked up a gift certificate for a full detail on his beloved car (in which he had sex with OW ) and an ice cream cake.
He dragged his feet on choosing a place for dinner tonight. Maybe he feels guilty or something, since he finally decided on a steakhouse when I pointed out that I had a $40 coupon for the place.
As for the anniversary aspect of the day... I can't even bring myself to say the word out loud. My MIL, who knows about the A, sent us a simple anniversary card. I read it but said nothing to WH about it.
It's supposed to be our seventh anniversary. Seventh anniversary of what? Of when he stood and lied? When he made promises he never intended to keep? Or maybe he did intend to keep them, but he broke them nonetheless.
He made it all of three whopping years of marriage before breaking those vows. I just don't know if I can acknowledge the day.
I know I can't celebrate it...