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Newest Member: Anderson78

Reconciliation :
Am I controlling?

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 hopeful18 (original poster member #19234) posted at 10:44 PM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

I have never viewed myself as controlling. There are things I have asked wh not to do in order for me to feel safe. Some he has done, some he continues to do. Not enough time to get into to all the details. To make a long story short we had a tense mc session as I posted earlier. We just had a follow up conversation and we just do not see eye to eye. I said let's discuss in mc in two weeks. He is just not getting it. Basically, by me feeling uncomfortable about something he feels controlled. Very frustrated since I don't think I am controlling at all!

posts: 433   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2008
id 6831531
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Schadenfreude ( member #43075) posted at 11:57 PM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

Of course you are controlling. You are not praising him for doing anything he wants to do. I'm quite sure most two year olds also feel controlled, too. They are notorious for being upset when their desires are thwarted by others.

I guess he hasn't figured,out that wandering has a price, whether the relatively low,price of feeling controlled (less free than before) or loss of the M.

posts: 892   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Midwest
id 6831604
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karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 12:01 AM on Wednesday, June 11th, 2014

If he was remorseful and understood the pain he dropped in your lap control wouldn't be an issue.

He would give up any and all "freedom" if it would make you feel safe.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 6831612
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