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DrJekyll (original poster member #43618) posted at 11:03 PM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2014
Since dday1 my BS and I have been talking for 16 hours a day. She has spent a lot of time reading to me from SI and books while I was at work. Which really brought to dday2 and confessing all to her. So now after 6 months of constant communication there are changes coming.
1 of my AP was a coworker. At the job I am still in. And this is misery for my BS. I have been looking for a new job ever since. (even before dday) Now there is a promising new job on the horizon. A chance to have the complete NC. I am very excited for this. My BS is very excited for this. We are both excited for the chance of a new start. But I have gotten so used to our long discussions and reading to each other. That I am going to immensely miss them. I am going to miss the luxury of being able to answer her questions as she has them. I am going to miss hearing her voice. It has been quite a gift for us to be able to have this time together. It has been able to ease her mind of what I am doing, and where I am at. And when she had a question it would not gnaw at her until I was able to talk.
So that now brings us to the next phase. When we have to stand on our own. We will be able to talk several times a day. And hopefully be able to text in between.
Any suggestions as to things that will help ease the transition? As it is now, when either us us are in a meeting I have a hard time keeping my focus on work. Most of the time all I can think about is my BS, and how she is feeling.
Thanks in advance
A wound can be stitched shut, but it decides when it will heal on its own.
ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)
I do not PM with Women
Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny. C.S.Lewis
somethingremorse ( member #42047) posted at 2:15 PM on Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
Glad to hear things are going well. Good luck with the new job.
I understand about thoughts of your A and BS conflicting with work. I feel like I cannot start my day at the office until I hit SI and unwind my brain.
My advice is just to be mindful of what is going on in your head. If you have something that needs to be said, try to text. If you cannot, write it down to discuss later. Discuss what happens during your day. If your BS had a trigger, you want her to to be able to talk about it.
Most of all, be mindful of your separation. At one point early in R, my BW and I talked a lot. And then we got busy with work and kids. This created a natural distance between us. In the past, it would have send me down a bad road. Now, I am in the moment. I know why there is a distance, what it really means, and how it makes me feel. Facing those feelings of isolation is the best way to understand how to get through them.
Me: WH (40s)
DDay 11/03/13
In MC and IC
jaime2014 ( new member #43727) posted at 8:50 PM on Sunday, June 22nd, 2014
Be able to end your marriage in order to save it.
Silence is better than bullshit.
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