Feeling for ya jendo - I too was totally blindsighted - and right before a trip to Europe (which we went on because everything was booked). I wish I'd have had the presence of mind to say uh-uh no way, but there it is. It had its upsides, too. My WH showed he really cared about me - though there was sadness too.
I'm worried about the alcohol for your H. It is a very dangerous thing for an addict to have "just a little" or so I'm told, because their self-regulation is already impaired with the addictiveness.
Ultimately however, you can't make his decision for him about what he will do. Even if he were home you can't control what he's going to do. I would be clear about boundaries - if there is a second violation, or even direspecting behaviour, you will protect yourself by doing x - whatever that may be, which will govern your actions, not his. The powerlessness is a terrible feeling, but even getting clear about what you will and won't do if certain things happen can be reassuring. I think that the boundaries have to be very clear for yourself and him.
