“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
The size of the upcoming change is starting to hit me though.. it's kind of overwhelming and a little sad. I've lived here 14 years.
I'm not trying to be negative, it's just, wow..
I think it's time to go do a bunch of cardio to burn some of this off, and practice some relaxation exercises or something. Last thing I need is to let stress control me and wear me down more.
Again, I wish I wasn't being negative about this.. it's a good thing. It's just a damn hard transition in my mind right now.
Glad you've got a plan to work some of that off.
Here's a pretty decent checklist b/c it encompasses more than just what you need to do to get your stuff in a truck:
Assuming a 4 week timeline, I've roughed it out into two major milestones:
* 2 weeks -- have place picked out
* 4 weeks -- move
Some other things that I see as very important to do before I leave that I consider at least moderately stressful:
* Change parenting plan to "two state" model (it will be changed again if/when XW moves up)
* Almost immediately: I live in an apartment with my sister. Cheapest option to handle the lease is to pay them $200 for a transfer, and she can live in a 1 bedroom with a roommate (fortunately she has one in mind). They need 30 days notice to do this. Incidentally, she wants to come up to the new place in November and start looking for a job there, which is to my benefit long term (have family in town).
* (already stated above) Pick a place out. Oh man. I'm probably going to do my usual thing of listing attributes that are important to me and loading up a spreadsheet with scores for each attribute, and then have a friend of mine out there do an in person visit to the top 3 or so places and look for red flags.
* Good: I am VERY minimalist and have very very little furniture because I normally really hate moving. Biggest stuff I have is my couch, my bed, and my daughter's bed. I'm willing to pare down even further for the move.
* Stress in general: It's not lost on me that I'm still recovering from stress and sometimes suffer from low energy, so I'm trying to get some of the big decisions out of the way and just make the rest of this low-key, and continue with my normal routine and my stress fighting techniques.
So yeah, basically I'm making a whole new (external) life here. Job's changing by the end of the year. State's changing in 4 weeks. Custody arrangements are changing. But on the other hand I have it really good! I have a big emergency fund saved up. I have stable employment. My job is very low stress (temporarily). I and XW agree on where we're going. My daughter likes the new place. Hopefully the new place will be good for me emotionally, and I know it'll be way better for my daughter to grow up in.
* Phase 1: Pack/ship and take care of local things. Two weeks.
* Phase 2: Drive. Three days.
* Phase 3: Stay at an extended stay place for up to a couple weeks, locate more permanent housing (locally, with a car!), retrieve items from storage. New place would be a 2 bedroom apartment rental probably, but that's not set in stone. 1-2 weeks total. Possibly a bit more if needed.
* Phase 4: ???
* Phase 5: Profit.
But honestly, as hard as it's been, I haven't once regretted it. It was sad - I'd lived in my home state my entire life. I'd been at my job for over 12 years and had a lot of friends there. There were a lot of reasons for me to do this, though... and not one person told me I shouldn't.
My best friend summed it up perfectly for me when I struggled with pulling the trigger - she said to not confuse stability with stagnancy. And that's exactly what I was doing.
You're going to rock it, PIC.