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I have been approved to move!

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ProbableIceCream posted 6/13/2014 17:59 PM

I have been approved to move to the state I want to move to, and continue doing my current job from there while I look for my next position. I'm amazed it actually went through because it was kind of an outrageous request. :)

Kajem posted 6/13/2014 18:02 PM

Yay for approval to move!!!!!!

jo2love posted 6/13/2014 18:51 PM

That is terrific!!!

nowiknow23 posted 6/13/2014 18:52 PM

Woo hoo!!!

ProbableIceCream posted 6/13/2014 23:23 PM

Thanks :)

The size of the upcoming change is starting to hit me though.. it's kind of overwhelming and a little sad. I've lived here 14 years.

I'm not trying to be negative, it's just, wow..

ProbableIceCream posted 6/14/2014 11:57 AM

And now I feel really extremely incredibly stressed out about the actual planning/execution. I kind of feel like breaking something and I'm making an effort to be calm.

I think it's time to go do a bunch of cardio to burn some of this off, and practice some relaxation exercises or something. Last thing I need is to let stress control me and wear me down more.

Again, I wish I wasn't being negative about this.. it's a good thing. It's just a damn hard transition in my mind right now.

nowiknow23 posted 6/14/2014 12:33 PM

I don't think you're being negative about it, PIC. It is a big thing, and there are plenty of logistical stressors involved.

Glad you've got a plan to work some of that off.

cayc posted 6/14/2014 12:50 PM

As always, these stressors can be handled by step by stepping it. Thinking of the whole thing makes moving seem insurmountable.

Here's a pretty decent checklist b/c it encompasses more than just what you need to do to get your stuff in a truck:

ProbableIceCream posted 6/14/2014 13:08 PM

My reaction to this has been to try very hard to break it down into pieces because I've been thinking to myself "well, what do I do first?" Basically a big thing that calms me down is realizing that something is feasible and knowing when the major deadlines are.

Assuming a 4 week timeline, I've roughed it out into two major milestones:

* 2 weeks -- have place picked out
* 4 weeks -- move

Some other things that I see as very important to do before I leave that I consider at least moderately stressful:

* Change parenting plan to "two state" model (it will be changed again if/when XW moves up)

* Almost immediately: I live in an apartment with my sister. Cheapest option to handle the lease is to pay them $200 for a transfer, and she can live in a 1 bedroom with a roommate (fortunately she has one in mind). They need 30 days notice to do this. Incidentally, she wants to come up to the new place in November and start looking for a job there, which is to my benefit long term (have family in town).

* (already stated above) Pick a place out. Oh man. I'm probably going to do my usual thing of listing attributes that are important to me and loading up a spreadsheet with scores for each attribute, and then have a friend of mine out there do an in person visit to the top 3 or so places and look for red flags.

Other points:

* Good: I am VERY minimalist and have very very little furniture because I normally really hate moving. Biggest stuff I have is my couch, my bed, and my daughter's bed. I'm willing to pare down even further for the move.

* Stress in general: It's not lost on me that I'm still recovering from stress and sometimes suffer from low energy, so I'm trying to get some of the big decisions out of the way and just make the rest of this low-key, and continue with my normal routine and my stress fighting techniques.

So yeah, basically I'm making a whole new (external) life here. Job's changing by the end of the year. State's changing in 4 weeks. Custody arrangements are changing. But on the other hand I have it really good! I have a big emergency fund saved up. I have stable employment. My job is very low stress (temporarily). I and XW agree on where we're going. My daughter likes the new place. Hopefully the new place will be good for me emotionally, and I know it'll be way better for my daughter to grow up in.

ProbableIceCream posted 6/14/2014 14:37 PM

Now that I'm gathering data into a spreadsheet and I've done the exercise thing I'm feeling a lot calmer. I'm seeing a lot of the attributes that I'm deciding between as compromises rather than black/white, which is cool. Only a few things are deal breakers. Just looking for the best overall package.

ProbableIceCream posted 6/14/2014 17:11 PM

I have come up with a brilliant lower stress plan. Basically I'd choose some stuff to go into storage, some stuff to take with me in the car, and some stuff to give away, throw away, or sell. The stuff for storage would get shipped up to the new state. I'd stay in an extended stay place for a couple weeks while I scout out local stuff.

So --

* Phase 1: Pack/ship and take care of local things. Two weeks.
* Phase 2: Drive. Three days.
* Phase 3: Stay at an extended stay place for up to a couple weeks, locate more permanent housing (locally, with a car!), retrieve items from storage. New place would be a 2 bedroom apartment rental probably, but that's not set in stone. 1-2 weeks total. Possibly a bit more if needed.
* Phase 4: ???
* Phase 5: Profit.

wildbananas posted 6/14/2014 17:22 PM

I recently moved to another state and know all about it. I was super stressed when making the decision... then mellowed out and went into overdrive getting everything in place and getting us settled... only then did the "Holy hell, what did I do?" feeling kick in.

But honestly, as hard as it's been, I haven't once regretted it. It was sad - I'd lived in my home state my entire life. I'd been at my job for over 12 years and had a lot of friends there. There were a lot of reasons for me to do this, though... and not one person told me I shouldn't.

My best friend summed it up perfectly for me when I struggled with pulling the trigger - she said to not confuse stability with stagnancy. And that's exactly what I was doing.

You're going to rock it, PIC.

MyVoice posted 6/14/2014 17:33 PM

So happy for you

ProbableIceCream posted 6/14/2014 22:07 PM

You know what, screw that, I'll sell my three big furniture items and put whatever will fit in the car and sell/dispose of the rest.

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