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I go out for dinner with a dear friend every now and then. She's the one who is addicted to liver cleansing, it's an ongoing cycle and it worries me but she says she has it well in hand.

Anyway, when she's not cleansing we go out for a bite to eat and glass or two of wine.

The last couple of times we've been out she's developed an obsession with not wanting to drink a glass of wine from a bottle that's been open for more than a couple of days.

So she will grill the server and actually say "I'm not going to pay $x for a glass of wine from a bottle that's been open for a week."

It makes me want to cringe.

How shall I bring this up with her? I love her dearly but she's Danish and they can be pretty blunt.

To say the least.

IMO, you'll have to just keep cringing inside. I don't see how you can say anything that will make a difference to her. Rather than confronting, if it were me, I'd make a point of telling the waiter to bring me a glass from the oldest open bottle of wine they have

I'm curious as to how she would actually know that the bottle had been open 'too long'?

Yah, I was going to approach it like that next time. Just say "Well I don't care how long it's been open, just bring it!"

If it really bothers you, why not buy the whole bottle of wine and have them open it at the table?

Because she has to drive, lives far away, and I'd have to drink most of it...

And the problem with that is....?

I can just see it...."And this is a 1987 bottle and it has been open for 37 and a half minutes"......

I'd think most wait staff would simply fib and say "Oh no, I just opened it"....considering most bottles in restaurants have screw on caps what the heck is the difference.....

PS...Maybe her "clean" liver can tell the difference.....

[This message edited by movingforward777 at 10:12 PM, June 14th (Saturday)]

Is there some other type of venue that you can spend time with this friend at, instead of dinner? I don't think she will change if her habits are that stringent. So instead of her being a dining buddy (because that sounds a bit stressful to me!) maybe she can be the friend you take walks in the park with, go to see a movie with, or go shopping with. That way, you won't have to deal with her cleansing issues but you can still spend some enjoyable time with her.

She's a hard core hiker, so walking is out.

I don't go out to movies, but she has me over for dinner sometimes to her place when her ex (they're house-sharing, he comes and goes, it's annoying... long story, not infidelity related) is away.

I'm not going to take her to the wine bar anymore that's for sure.

Now you know where the expression came from, "Put a cork in it" ...

I agree with the posters who said you aren't going to change her. Some people are just weird that way. I knew a couple that always ordered fish and always asked what ocean it was from and if it was fresh. Just once I want to hear a server say "No. We only serve rancid fish here."

Now you know where the expression came from, "Put a cork in it" ...

my XWH & I were friends with a couple and would go out to dinner frequently. The W of that couple was obsessed with silverware. She studied her silverware and her H's silverware. If there was so much as a water spot on it, she sent it back. Same thing for the glass her wine came in.

I can see if there was a piece of food on the silverware, but geez - my own silverware sometimes has water spots on it out of the dishwasher.

It really got embarrassing to go out to eat with them. But, then my WH did the whole cheating thing and HE got to keep them as friends in the D.

Does she act like a wine connoisseur?

XH had this BFF whose wife was a complete PITA to eat out with. I don't miss her one bit! LOL I was like, "Don't mess with the people who make your food!" (ya know?)

Substitutions, this cooked this way - not like that, this in a dish not on same plate - looks like it was same plate, take it back. Did you bring extra sauce? I need it in a ramekin, not on the bread plate....

Like girl, we are at the Olive Garden, not your house!

[This message edited by wannabenormal at 5:35 AM, June 18th (Wednesday)]

She's not a connoisseur, more of a purist. At home she only drinks organic. And she's generous with it if she throws a dinner party.

I like organic, but I also like Yellowtail, by the gallon, and it's not.

She was grilling the bartender at the wine bar about the risotto that *I* was ordering (as I cringed in the corner).

The owner was standing beside him and very kindly gave her a blow-by-blow about how they prep the risotto. No, it doesn't sit in a huge pot all night, it's parboiled and each portion is prepped individually right before serving.

And they have the most amazing risotto in town.

But she had the gnocci and raved about it, so it all ended well.

But she can be a PITA. She's separated and wants to find someone to have sex with now. I can only imagine how that's going to go.