Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.
I dont tend to sugar coat things.
I think SOME pain will always be there for all of us. This is a *life event* and as such it dramatically changes us and the path of our life. We are changed forever. And the direction we had planned for our life is altered.
Its horrible that this happened to us. We suffered tremendous abuse at the hands of the one person that we trusted above all others. Trust is damaged. For me trust is closely tied to love and so the feelings I have for WW are altered and diminished.
This has changed how I view humanity in general. I am much more cynical now. It may be hard to believe but I was an optimist before all this happened.
With all that said. I believe we all have to come to a point of acceptance regarding our being betrayed. The betrayal happened. Theres nothing we can do to make it un-happen. Whether we stay with our WS or not we still much come to acknowledge that being betrayed by this most trusted one is part of our past. It is part of the story of our life. It has altered us. But in acceptance is power.
We can grow and learn from this experience and from it can become stronger and better people. I have become much more empathetic than I ever was before. I am in closer touch with my emotions. I am changed. In some ways scarred and ruined. But in others stronger and more complex and with greater depth of character.
You will get through this. Many times you will feel that you cannot go on. But the truth is that even in those times you actually CAN go on. There really isnt any other choice. We bought a ticket to this merry-go-round and theres no getting off until the ride is through.
Some days are hard. More than hard. Panic attacks. Feeling like ants crawling under your skin. PTSD triggers. Throwing up. All kinds of related health problems. Lack of concentration. Yes. Ive been there and done all that. And Im still standing. Im here and Im moving forward with my life.
And you will reach this place too. Its a hard path and there is no short cut. And in the end it really doesnt matter if you stay with your WS or not because the battles you have to fight are all with yourself. Those battles will happen if your WS is with you or not.
You will come out of this. KNOW that there is an end to the pain. There WILL be a day when you are ok again. You will be fine. In some ways you will be better but that *better* comes at a price.
Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.