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Topic: Business trip and absolutely dreading it!

Phoenix1
♀ 38928
Member # 38928

Posted: 8:36 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014

It is inevitable, I know that, and better to get it over with than drag it out. I am talking about the fact that I am heading out of state for mandated training that all our state affiliates are required to attend. That means colleagues from all 50 states that I have worked with for almost five years, so we know each other well. I am dreading it because it is the first business trip/interaction with these fine folks since the death of DS, bro, and SIL. Word has obviously spread since then. They will all be well-meaning, and I get that. But I am going to be inundated with the well-meaning "sorry for your loss" comments over the next week. My healing is very fragile right now, and I just don't know if I am mentally ready for the bombardment. One or two, sure, but it is going to be much more than that.

I am trying to prepare myself, and bring a level of detachment to get myself through it, but I am not looking forward to the week because of it...

BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet

Posts: 1377 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!

purplejacket4
♀ 34262
Member # 34262

Posted: 10:41 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014

Hugs to you and practice a simple , "thank you, I appreciate it." You might have a couple of topics in your back pocket to change the conversation to.

Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2469 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest

nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226

Posted: 10:48 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014

Is there a colleague you're close to that could help you out by being a shield/wingperson? Someone you could lean on a bit if needed?

((((Phoenix)))) Sending you strength for the trip, honey.

You can call me NIK

“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön

Posts: 28283 | Registered: Aug 2011

yewtree
♀ 16671
Member # 16671

Posted: 12:18 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014

Is there someone who can give everyone a heads up to avoid the subject? Maybe that person can tell the group that you know they mean well, and that you appreciate their concern, but what you really need is to focus on the training.

Would anybody step up and say that for you?

must be time for bed... I think it makes more sense now.

[This message edited by yewtree at 12:21 AM, June 16th (Monday)]

Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

Posts: 4735 | Registered: Oct 2007

authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024

Posted: 5:37 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014

(((Phoenix1))) I'll be sending good thoughts your way, Phoenix.

Happiness is an inside job. ---William Arthur Ward

Posts: 40867 | Registered: Sep 2007

Topic Posts: 5

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