SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

[Register]

Newest Member: Damasithymos (59417)

User

Topic: Business trip and absolutely dreading it!

Phoenix1
♀ 38928
Member # 38928

Posted: 8:36 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014

It is inevitable, I know that, and better to get it over with than drag it out. I am talking about the fact that I am heading out of state for mandated training that all our state affiliates are required to attend. That means colleagues from all 50 states that I have worked with for almost five years, so we know each other well. I am dreading it because it is the first business trip/interaction with these fine folks since the death of DS, bro, and SIL. Word has obviously spread since then. They will all be well-meaning, and I get that. But I am going to be inundated with the well-meaning "sorry for your loss" comments over the next week. My healing is very fragile right now, and I just don't know if I am mentally ready for the bombardment. One or two, sure, but it is going to be much more than that.

I am trying to prepare myself, and bring a level of detachment to get myself through it, but I am not looking forward to the week because of it...

BS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - 2 adult DDs - DS20 Deceased
Happily divorced!

~Indifference - Because some people do not deserve your emotions.~

I edit often because my tablet is possessed!

Posts: 4204 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!

purplejacket4
♀ 34262
Member # 34262

Posted: 10:41 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014

Hugs to you and practice a simple , "thank you, I appreciate it." You might have a couple of topics in your back pocket to change the conversation to.

Me: BS 47
Her: FWS 50 (both family med MDs; together 20 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
Limboconsiliationish
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???

Posts: 2997 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Here

nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226

Posted: 10:48 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014

Is there a colleague you're close to that could help you out by being a shield/wingperson? Someone you could lean on a bit if needed?

((((Phoenix)))) Sending you strength for the trip, honey.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40066 | Registered: Aug 2011

yewtree
♀ 16671
Member # 16671

Posted: 12:18 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014

Is there someone who can give everyone a heads up to avoid the subject? Maybe that person can tell the group that you know they mean well, and that you appreciate their concern, but what you really need is to focus on the training.

Would anybody step up and say that for you?

must be time for bed... I think it makes more sense now.

[This message edited by yewtree at 12:21 AM, June 16th (Monday)]

Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.

Posts: 4892 | Registered: Oct 2007

authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024

Posted: 5:37 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014

(((Phoenix1))) I'll be sending good thoughts your way, Phoenix.

“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of “you’re not alone.” ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 54941 | Registered: Sep 2007

Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum

This Topic is Archived