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Father's Day

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SeanFLA posted 6/16/2014 09:16 AM

I found this kind of interesting. I make sure my son has something every birthday and Mother's Day to give to his mom. Even though I practice strict NC with her and she makes my skin crawl. I never let him go empty-handed...card and a small gift. We go together and pick something out. He's 14 so I don't expect him to remember all the time. He's still kinda dorky about dates like that given his age.

Well my birthday was the last week of May and of course Father's Day yesterday...and nothing. I'm not overly upset with it. I'm not upset with my son whatsoever. He did wish me a happy Father's Day and we spent the day fishing at the beach. My feeling is a good parent (on her end) needs to help remind her child of the other parent's birthday or Fathers Day events at that age. It's good manners going into adulthood. I guess I just find it interesting. But as a person with a soul, I will continue to make sure he brings his mother something for those events. I believe in leading by example regardless of who the recipient is on the other end.

Acer0112 posted 6/16/2014 09:28 AM

I am sorry to hear, it's those special days that just a little wish goes a long way. I can relate, I didn't get one thing for Mothers Day either. I wasn't mad at the kids (11, 13), they gave me hugs and said the right things. But they obviously felt bad they didn't have anything to give me. They realized they could make cards, but I told them being with them was the best present. Made the day special as you did with your fishing day.

I am saddened that the WS selfishness and anger or whatever resentment they may believe to have towards us prevents them from helping the kids learn to give cards and wishes and to be prepared on holidays and birthdays. In the end, To not make them feel bad. It's from the kids, not the X.

hurting mom posted 6/16/2014 09:31 AM

You sound like a good man and are teaching your son to be a respectful, caring son (and husband some day.) He is a lucky kid to have you as his dad.

My idiot WH did NOTHING for my birthday or Mother's Day. So I bought myself two cards (along with cards for my mom and MIL,) gave them to my kids and said, "write me a nice note saying what a good mom I am."

And yes, I did get him a Fathers Day card, gift and dinner.

It is all about teaching your kids to do the right thing.

Thinkingtoomuch posted 6/16/2014 10:55 AM

Hi, Sean

Sorry that's the kind of fallout you have to deal with.

Happy Birthday and Happy Father's Day! It sounds like enjoying your son was a good gift to yourself and him. You're teaching your son well.


norabird posted 6/16/2014 11:10 AM

But as a person with a soul, I will continue to make sure he brings his mother something for those events.

nekorb posted 6/16/2014 11:26 AM

That quality time fishing with your son was worth more than anything your WW could have conjured up to give you.

For all you know he asked her to help him with something and she refused. Kwim?

You're doing a good job.

High road my friend. Nice work.

one2ndchance posted 6/16/2014 11:56 AM

You're doing what a good parent does..teaching through example. Thank goodness he has at least one good parent.

ruinedandbroken posted 6/16/2014 21:09 PM

I'm sorry Sean. You are teaching him right. And you are a better person than I am because this is one area I stuggle with. I can't bring myself to buy anything for my ex from the kids. I know I probably should because of what it teaches them. But given their ages, he knows the thought it coming from me so I just can't bring myself to do it.

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